Ugh, Food Babies Are The Worst

20-something girl #1: I’ve been so sick today.
20-something girl #2: Oh no! Why?
20-something girl #1: Must have been those two squash and spaghetti sandwiches I ate yesterday.
20-something girl #2: Oh, right!
(momentary pause)
20-something girl #1: So, have you ever been pregnant?

–Ladies Room, Vento Trattoria

Headline by: Alex

Runners-Up:
· “It’s The Perfect Way to Justify My Incredibly Bizarre Eating Habits” – Caitlin
· “It’s Usually the After Dinner Drinks That Get Me Pregnant.” – Bud
· “No, But Sometimes I Pretend to Be So People Don’t Mock My Food Choices” – o k
· “So Began the Story Of the Immaculate Conception Of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” – Jared
· “The Day Peggy Learned Squash-and-Spaghetti-Sandwich Contraception Is a Myth” – Steve
· “The Shift in Topic Was So Jarring, Tina Had to Be Hospitalized.” – Sam
· “They Don’t Call Me “Subtle Stacy” for Nothing” – fresca

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on August 11, 2008
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Food, Girls, Gripes, Headline Contest Winners, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Restaurants & Cafes, Stall Spies

Like That It's Possible to Get Thin by Eating Chocolate?

Guy giving out Kellogg's Special K chocolate bars: Free cereal bars! Free cereal bars!
Hobo (to Kellogg's guy): Hey, why isn't anyone giving me any money? They all be paying attention to you!
Kellogg's guy: Because I'm giving out free candy. You're giving out lies.

–Outside Penn Station

Posted on August 10, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Compare/Contrast, Default, Food, Guys, Hobos, Homeless, Offers and requests, Panhandling, Penn Station

Probably a Story There– I Beg You Not to Tell It

Girl eating chocolate cake to woman in next cubicle: Oh my god, this is so good–I think even you would eat this cake.
Woman in next cubicle: I don't eat nothing coming off of Long Island.

–Random NYU Administration Office

Overheard by: Betty Noir

Posted on August 9, 2008
Advice, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Coworkers, Default, Food, Girls, Office, U.S. Geography, Weirdness, Women

Plus, I Got You That Golden Ticket, Veruca

Three-year-old: I have a lot of M&Ms at mommy's house.
Dad: Yes, but you get more snacks at daddy's house.

–Path Train

Overheard by: Jatmos

Posted on July 29, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, Food, Kids, Parents, Trains Not Subway

Every Artist Has His Own Medium

Drunk black guy #1: That’s when I started cooking with weed. The Jamaicans told me you can cook with it.
Drunk black guy #2: Yeah?
Drunk black guy #1: I made chicken soup with that shit. I had soupy chicken weed. I was high as fuck.
Drunk black guy #2: Yeah?
Drunk black woman: You ever had weed fishcakes? Weed fishcakes. I make that shit.
Drunk black guy #2: Fishcakes?
Drunk black woman: And pork fried weed.
Drunk black guy #1: I want to come to your parties. You creative.

–4 Train

Overheard by: Unrelenting Monkey

Posted on July 28, 2008
Advice, Black People, Celebrations/Parties, Compliments, Default, Drunks, Food, Guys, On the Subway, Weed, Women

So Crispy and Cheesy

Girl: I think there’s a pretty good seafood restaurant around here. What kind of fish do you like?
Boyfriend: I really like goldfish.

–E14th & 3rd

Overheard by: one order of koi, please

Posted on July 26, 2008
Animals & Nature, Boyfriends, Couples, Default, Food, Girlfriends, Questions, Union Square and East Village

There’s Also That “Olive Garden” I’ve Been Hearing So Much About

Tourist woman #1: Well, where should we go to eat instead?
Tourist woman #2: I hear that Ray’s Pizza is suppose to be excellent!

–W 54th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Levram

Posted on July 24, 2008
Default, Food, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Tourism, Tourists, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Are Down, but Not Out

Hobo with two jars in front of him: Food or drugs! Choose whether you’d like to sponsor my evening shot or dinner!

–Central Park

Homeless man: Hey, bindi-a, lookin’ good today! (Indian girl ignores his comment, begins to walk away). Fine! When you get mugged, I’m not helping you!

–Washington Square Park

Enterprising lady hobo: You could use your credit card to get cash, and give me the cash.

–Outside Dunkin’ Donuts, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Panhandling hobo: Spare some change for a large bottle of water and a nice Chef salad? Spare some change for bottled water and salad?

–Broadway & 10th St

Hobo: Hey lemme borrow those red Converse! I’ve got a hot date with Monica Lewinsky tonight!

–14th & 6th

Hobo to another: "You’re gonna turn me into a waffle?" That’s what she told me, you said! A waffle? Oh no, I don’t think so!

–23rd b/w 6th & 7th

Overheard by: sara

Crazy hobo: Watch out for traffic and knuckleheads! Beware! (points at random pedestrian) Him! He’s a knucklehead! Don’t trust him!

–5th Ave & 49th St

Posted on July 23, 2008
About Celebrities, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bag ladies, Brooklyn, Central Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Crazies, Crazy, Dating, Drugs, Fears, Food, Hobos, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Offers and requests, Panhandling, Questions, Threats, Union Square and East Village, Vegetarian & Vegan, Washington Square Park, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Pretend They’ve Read Kerouac

Hipster chick: It costs like $280 to go blonde, which seems expensive but it’s totally worth it because then you’re blonde.

–Hop Scotch

Overheard by: bildita

Hipster: My brother entitled all of his college essays "Heeeey Essaaaaay!"

–Smith Street & President

Overheard by: Michelle C.

(drunk or ill hipster guy lying on stairs moans pitifully and vomits)
Hipster’s friend, looking away and pretending not to know him: Ha! Fag!

–7th Ave

Young hipster: Let’s face it, at some point I’m gonna be homeless.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Conti

Hipster girl: Pickles are so in right now.

–Renegade Arts Festival, Williamsburg

Posted on July 23, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Education, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hair, Hipsters, Homeless, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Union Square and East Village, Williamsburg, Words

Mmm…Marriage…

Art teacher: This piece is from the enlightenment period in England and is called “Marriage a la Mode”.
Kid to friend: Wait… Marriage with ice cream?

–Bronx Science Art History Class

Overheard by: One with whipped cream please

Posted on July 21, 2008
Books & Writing, Bronx Science, Classroom, Default, Food, Friends, History & Geography, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors, The Bronx, Words