Pretty girl on phone, screaming: I am not upset. I'm not upset–I'm enraged! I'm enraged! Enraged!
Young suit: I think maybe, uh… I'm not sure but…
Old suit: I think maybe she's a little enraged.
–28th St & Madison Ave
Pretty girl on phone, screaming: I am not upset. I'm not upset–I'm enraged! I'm enraged! Enraged!
Young suit: I think maybe, uh… I'm not sure but…
Old suit: I think maybe she's a little enraged.
–28th St & Madison Ave
Blonde #1: Her doctor's note literally says she cannot take the stairs. Like, her body physically can't do it.
Blonde #2: Well, then she needs to eat something!
–FIT Cafeteria
Hipster: I have to confess a deep dark secret to you.
Girl: Okay?
Hipster: I know the taste of my own cum.
–Union Square
Girl: Why aren’t you wearing any shoes?
Guy: I lost them a few hours ago. I don’t know where they went!
Girl: You’re such a drunk.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Dude: Do you want to dance?
Chick: No, sorry, I have a boyfriend.
Dude: That’s okay, I’m gay.
Chick: Are you sure?
Dude: Am I sure? Yes! [Girl walks away.] Okay, fine, I’m not sure.
–Webster Hall, NYU
Chic chick #1: Whenever I go to museums with Mike, he always acts like he doesn’t give a shit.
Chic chick #2: How so?
Chic chick #1: Like we went to this exhibit on 18th Century English fashion and he was just staring into space the whole time, not saying anything.
Chic chick #2: Weird.
–Clinton & Rivington
Overheard by: The Whyte Lyte
Cracked out gay guy: Girl, I like your coach purse, is it real?
Snotty Upper West Side girl: Yes, it's real.
Cracked out gay guy: Don't lie to me. I'm a fag…I can tell.
–2 Train
Overheard by: cougar
Hot black girl: Where did summer go? Now we're all back to wearing glasses and snorting Adderall… or taking it with water.
–24th St & 3rd Ave
Guy to friend: If I just gave up speed I'd totally be getting more ass.
–Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Jack
Guy to another: Yeah, so you take a gram of coke, then mix it with a ground-up Xanax, then mash up an E. Then you put it all into pill form, and down it with a Sparks!
–N Train
Architecture professor: Everything in moderation… except for heroin. Heroin, you go for the gusto.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Denali
3rd grader, cheerily announcing to subway: I'm starving! I didn't even have breakfast! (jubilantly) Just candy!
–4 Train
Overheard by: i tried that once
Cosi employee to another: Dude, don't tell anyone, but I put a *special ingredient* in the brownies.
–Cosi Restaurant
Fat girl with three skinny friends and a large cupcake: So what do you think our cupcake choices say about our personalities?
–Crumbs Bake Shop
Overheard by: Damon
Old guy with ponytail: You bootlegged My Bloody Valentine? That's like breaking into the US Mint and stealing the chocolate sauce!
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Good Analogy
Girl: And by "jellybean," I mean "fetus"!
–Christopher & W 4th St
Woman: It's no longer a chocolate vagina, it's just a pool of chocolate!
–Manhattan Center Grand Ballroom
Overheard by: Ilyssa
Drunk girl on bike #1: How's your nose?
Drunk girl on bike #2: How's your neck?
Drunk girl on bike #1: Hey, all I'm saying is that I'd rather get a hickey from a random boy I don't know than break my nose by falling off my bike. (falls off her bike) Shiiiiiiiiiiiit.
Girl #2: How's your fucking nose now, whore?
–NYU
