Guy: I'll give you what I normally give you.
Girl #1: A toothbrush?
Girl #2: A penis in your face.
–113th & Amsterdam
Guy: I'll give you what I normally give you.
Girl #1: A toothbrush?
Girl #2: A penis in your face.
–113th & Amsterdam
Black girl: Would you look at that white cracka?
Lighter-skinned black girl: Bitch, you could be just as white as I am because you don't even know who your daddy is.
–Times Square
Girl #1: I just feel bad because he's going to think I'm a total bitch because I kicked his friend at his birthday party!
Girl #2: Whatever! You can't worry about what other people think of you.
–C Line
Black chick #1: How mad was she?
Black chick #2: She's as mad as if she was just let out of slavery yesterday.
–Aveda Salon, Upper West Side
Girl #1: So how is every thing?
Girl #2: Good, I talked to James… He’s dying.
Girl #1: Ah, I see.
Girl #2: Yeah, so things are great! (nods repeatedly)
–Exiting City Hall Station
Brunette: I think that's why I don't have any girlfriends. It's just… I'm so tired of apologizing for being in med school and being so smart. And I think people really resent me. But I've been talking with my mom, and we've come to the realization that I have low self esteem.
Friend: Yeah, you talk about med school a lot.
–50th & 9th
Overheard by: Natalie
Girl: The problem is her butt isn’t on his neck while she’s spinning around his head.
Boy: Well, she needs to arch her back more. Problem solved. Did you do the crossword?
–Juilliard cafeteria
Teen: I'm 14 years old and I'm still a virgin…how sick is that??
–Simon Baruch Middle School
Overheard by: the art major
Random old guy: The only thing I like more than children is more children.
–Barnes & Noble, 83rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Maianess
20-something guy to friend, casually: Oh, yeah, and the high school girl doesn't want a relationship.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: rachelandkaceyfuckup
Hipster girl to a group of friends: I can't date him. It would be like dating a kid, and not like in a really good way. (awkward silence) Uhm, not that there is a really good way to date a kid.
–Grand Central Station
Guy: You can do that to a girl but you can't do that to a guy! That's child molestation!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: inching away
Professor: Did I ever tell you? I used to work at a carnival operating the kiddie rides. (laughs) And no! I never became a pedophile!
–Wagner College
Overheard by: good to know
Drunk hobo boarding train: Hey, is this uptown or downtown?
Girl: It’s the…
Drunk hobo: Fuck it! Lets go!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tiffany
Hipster girl #1: I usually don’t mind, but this guy was like… I mean, basically you couldn’t tell if his shirt was on or off, he was that hairy!
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, I used to date a guy like that. You know those hair removal ads for men with the before and after pictures, where they basically take like the hairiest man that ever walked the earth? That was him. Chest, back, shoulders, ass… Covered.
Bear guy: Aw, come on. That’s just plain hot!
–Pink Pony, LES
