Chatty, obnoxious girl #1: My last relationship was a disaster. He just didn't treat me well. He was very disrespectful. How is your man doing?
Chatty, obnoxious girl #2: I don't know. He says he loves me, takes me out all the time, is always calling and paying for everything. He even writes me long romantic notes and spends time with me whenever he can. It's just kind of lame, you know? I just told him I loved him to shut him up.
–E Train
Overheard by: Xander
Guy: I can so. I can do anything I want.
Girl: Well, you can’t control destiny! All you can do in life is choose a direction and do your best when you’re fucked!
–22nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Khalim
Girl #1: Where is he from, anyway?
Girl #2: I dunno, he's from Fort Dallas or something.
Girl #1: He's from some fort town.
Girl #2: Well, there's Dallas-Fort Worth, but that's, like, a big city. (pause) He's from wherever Kelly Clarkson's from.
Girl #1: Oh, okay!
–LIRR
Overheard by: openmic
Girl #1: I love Alex’s toes. They are like little bulbous fingers.
Girl #2: Oh my god, you would love Susan’s toes…
–16th St & Union Square West
Middle-aged woman, dressed like a pre-teen: I’m not really sure how it happened but I think I ended up drunk and half-naked on the 5th floor of Macy’s.
Teenage daughter: Really?
Middle-aged woman: Maybe it was the 6th floor. Shoot, and that was gonna be a good story to tell Jeannie.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Nikki
Guy: Your fly is unzipped.
Girl: Oh…
Oldish lady: Easy access, kid! Goodness, you should be fucking already!
–Christopher St
Guy: That’s a really old graveyard. They have tombstones going back to the 1600s.
Girl: I dont understand. How is that possible?
Guy: It’s an old church. People were buried there a long time ago.
Girl: Yeah, but wasn’t our country made around the 1770s?
Guy: Yes, but there were colonists here from France, England and Spain before that.
Girl: So they brought their dead relatives over here to bury them?
–Trinity Church
Overheard by: Jonathan Bloom
Girl: So how's your cougar?
Guy: She's good.
Girl: What is she, 50?
Guy: 52.
Girl: And you're…32?
Guy: 34.
Girl: She ever been married?
Guy: Divorced. That's how I got right in there.
Girl: So is this, like, something serious? Like a forever thing?
Guy: No! I mean, I want kids, and she keeps getting these heat flashes. You know?
–L Train
Charity mugger: Hey, you girls like puppies, right?
Girl #1: I hate puppies.
Charity mugger: Umm, well you want to help the Katrina victims, right?
Girl #1: I hate Southerners.
Girl #2: New Orleans was a place of sin. Good riddance.
–Brooklyn Bridge-City Hall station
Girl: Those weather websites are so unreliable. They all say different things. The other day, I went to one, and it was like, ‘Partly sunny.’ Okay. Then I went to another, and it was like, ‘Party cloudy.’ They’re all different.
–NYU residence hall, Lafayette St
Overheard by: Rusty V
Guy selling umbrellas: Acid rain in the forecast today. Acid rain all day. Get your umbrellas!
–86th & Lex
Overheard by: Wondering what the umbrellas were made out of
Girl: The rain is the tears of Republicans.
–Hamilton Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: alex
High school chick on cell: The glaciers are gonna melt and the sea is gonna rise, and then you best hope it doesn’t rain… I don’t know, I haven’t read that far yet.
–Spring St
Overheard by: Dan
Suit on cell: It’s raining like a whore!
–Penn Station
