You Complete Me, Wednesday One-Liners

Blonde coed: After he finished yelling at me for a solid ten minutes, he's like, "So, do you want to be my girlfriend?"

–3rd Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: simon

Middle school girl to boy: I don't normally get with sixth graders, but you're different…

–10th St & 1st Ave

Woman on cell: You are not listening to me. (pause) When you say whatever it is you're bitching about', I know that you are not actually listening to me.

–Riverside Park

Guy on cell: I don't treat you quite as bad as you say.

–Amtrak

Overheard by: Flooey

Boyfriend, about girlfriend enthusiastically cheering on Colbert: Why don't you scream like that for me?

–The Colbert Report Set

Party girl to friend: So I asked my priest, and he said "I think you should see other people."

–Park Ave & 29th St

Overheard by: petey

Posted on December 22, 2022
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Christianity, Compliments, Elementary & Middle School, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Relationships, School and studying, Students, Trains Not Subway, TV, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Full of Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing

Girl #1: Taxi! Taxi! Arrrgh!
Girl #2: Oh, oh, here, it’s stopping. Oh, wait, no, it’s not.
Girl #3: Did he just honk at us? That was, like, a whirlwind of emotion.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Leslie G.

Posted on December 15, 2022
Girls, Public Transportation, Union Square and East Village

Janet Reno Day One-Liners

Short thug, holding baby, yelling at indie girl outside deli: My baby don't like you! Don't you ever come near my baby again! She thinks you got a ugly face!

–176th & Broadway

Overheard by: emily d.

Older woman to young couple proudly pushing baby stroller: That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!

–2nd Ave & 10th St

Tourist to another: I thought New York was supposed to be filled with good-looking people. My god, everyone here is so ugly!

–Midtown Bar

Husband to wife: Why do we always get ugly German nannies? Always! Why?

–Broadway & 13th St

Posted on December 14, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Body Parts, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Delis, Foreigners, Girls, Gripes, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Street, The Village, Thugs, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners

Now I Can’t Get the Tragic Jingle Out of My Head

Girl #1: …Okay I got one.
Girl #2: Okay. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Girl #1: New Orleans sure is a disaster; send them Fanta faster faster!

–52nd & 6th

Overheard by: J-Mo

Posted on December 12, 2022
Advice, Compare/Contrast, Drinks, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, U.S. Geography

Yooo…I Fuckin'…Fuckin' Blacked Out at Midnight…Lost My Fuckin' Glass Slipper…Shit…I Was Wasted

Girl: Don't let her drink after midnight. Make her go home. Are you listening to me? Don't let her drink after midnight!
Man: Am I supposed to keep her away from sunlight and not get her wet either?
Girl: What? What are you? Fine! You get the deal with her mess!

–15th St & Union Square East

Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson

Posted on December 11, 2022
Advice, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Men, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weather, Weirdness

It's Enough to Have an Albanian Boyfriend Who Beats Me

20-something girl #1, running into friend: Oh hey!! How are you?
20-something girl #2: Doing so well! It's nice to see you…
(they catch up, and five minutes later)
20-something girl #1, changing the subject without warning: Yeah, I know a lot of Johns.
20-something girl #2, shocked: Oh. Hah… damn, girl! It has been a while. What've you been up to that you know a bunch of Johns?
20-something girl #1, after confused pause: Oh… Oh! I mean I know a lot of people named John. I don't… Well… Yeah. I don't do that.
20-something girl #2, laughing: Oh, good! Girl, I was gonna say, “Well, she used to be kind of a slut, but straight-up prostitution is a little out of character.”
20-something girl #1, laughing: I know, right?

–6 Train

Overheard by: …Did you miss that she just called you a slut?

Posted on December 8, 2022
Girls, Laughter, Names, On the Subway, Penis, Promiscuity, Prostitution

Well You're Flat-Chested, but Did I Point That Out??

Stranger to six-year-old girl who is one dollar short when paying: Hey there, sweetheart! I will pay that last dollar for you. Don't you worry.
Girl: No! You are fat!

–Dylan's Candy Bar

Overheard by: Acrown

Posted on December 7, 2022
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Comebacks, Diet/Weight, Girls, Grocery Stores, Money & Class, Nice People, Offers and requests, Only in New York, Physical appearance, Should've Used a Condom, Strangers

The Modern-Day Equivalent Of the Bell Tolling

Girl #1: Michael Jackson is dead? Really?
Girl #2: Yeah, we read it on TMZ. They're usually pretty good about knowing when people are dead.

–The Mill

Posted on December 6, 2022
About Celebrities, Death, Girls, News, Restaurants & Cafes

I Hear It’s a Great Place to Start a Relationship, Though

NYU girl #1: Oh my god, could you imagine living in that apartment building with no windows?
NYU girl #2: Honey, no.

–Outside Manhattan Detention Center, Centre St

Posted on December 3, 2022
Girls, Real Estate, Students

Here Comes One Now

Girl: You left me for two hours!
Hot gay guy: You left me for one hour!
Girl: I had an errand to run! You did not!
Hot gay guy: My organism is an errand!
Girl: Do normal people do this? When I'm bored, I read or do something constructive.
Hot gay guy: When I'm bored, I have an orgasm.

–9th & Ave C

Posted on December 3, 2022
Alphabet City, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hook Ups, Orgasm, Queer guys, Time

Girls

Janet Reno Day One-Liners