Wednesday How-Many-Liners?

Tourist, looking at buildings across from Central Park: So which one is the Statue of Liberty?

–Columbus Circle

Girl: Are pork chops made of lamb?

–23rd & Park Ave

Overheard by: Nora Claire

Girl to bouncer at bar: Does this place have really awesome bathrooms?

–East Village

Overheard by: bb

Tourist: Is Chinatown closed?

–Canal St

Overheard by: Kristen

Hippie at exhibit for world's most extreme animals: Are they alive?

–Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy

Lady on cell: Times Square's where that ball is, right?

–42nd St & 6th St

Overheard by: tourists rock

Guy: What is this? So I sign up and get a free beer?

–Designated Driver Booth, Citi Field

Overheard by: AJ

Posted on September 16, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Bouncers, Chinatown, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Free stuff!, Girls, Guys, Hippies, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Museum of Natural History, NYC Geography, On Cell, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Statue of Liberty, Street, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

But Nowhere Near As Tasty

Drunk 20-something guy: Imagine this foam finger is a beef stick. Open your mouth and eat the beef stick.
Drunk 20-something girl: Normally, the beef sticks I tend to deal with are slightly smaller.

–Q Train

Posted on September 15, 2009
Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Food, Guys, Height, On the Subway

Unlike This Guy

Little old black lady: Excuse me.
Metro guy in sunglasses with legs spread across three seats: (no response)
Little old black lady: Son! I know your balls can't be that big. Close your damn legs!
(other people laugh, and Metro guy closes legs)

–N Train

Posted on September 14, 2009
Balls, Black People, Body Parts, Comebacks, Guys, Height, Laughter, Old People, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Women

Not Without Vodka

Jetlagged guy: Want some orange juice?
Jetlagged girl: It's, like, 5 am for me. I'm not going to start drinking… orange juice.

–AirTrain

Overheard by: We can understand what you're saying here

Posted on September 14, 2009
Drinks, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Time, Trains Not Subway, Travel

Shall I Demonstrate on This Person Here?

Guy #1: Have you ever had a happy ending?
Guy #2: No, I've never gotten one. (passer-by stares at him)
Guy #1: I get them all the time, they're great!

–W 23rd & 3rd

Posted on September 14, 2009
Guys, Happiness, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Strangers

Fuck Chicks, Presumably.

Guy hitting on girl, noticing a rainbow tag on her shoe: Rainbows, huh? Yeah. I live in Florida, so…
Girl's: So…?
(awkward silence)
Guy: What do you do?

–3 Train

Posted on September 13, 2009
Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Shoes, Stupidity

Never Had My Whole Hand in a Girl's Mouth Before

Girl: You chased me with a burger!
Guy: For me to have chased you, you'd had to have run from it!

–Broadway & 8th

Overheard by: Matt Koff

Posted on September 12, 2009
Girls, Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, The Village, Violence, Weirdness

I'd Likely End Up Settling for You

Drunk girl on date: You're not going to be allowed in my apartment tonight.
Lame guy on date: Oh really? Why is that?
Drunk girl on date: Because when I drink, I lose my ambition.

–Lower East Side

Posted on September 10, 2009
Dating, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Lower East Side, Questions, Stupidity

Oh Dude, I Am No Judge

Guy #1: I like her, but her personality is a bit blah…
Guy #2: She has a hot body, though.
Guy #1: Yeah, but you know who else has a hot body?
Guy #2: Me?

–University Place

Posted on September 10, 2009
Always Bringing it Back to You!, Beauty, Guys, Physical appearance, Questions, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Prefer “Gentleman Companion”

Teenage girl to friend: Boyfriends are so overrated, except not really because I really want one.

–Lincoln Center

Guy: I don't care if her new boyfriend is god–I will kick his ass!

–Church St

Overheard by: Steve

Guy to friend: Yeah, she's in Jamaica. How fucked up is that? She's 20 and in Jamaica with her boyfriend. I'm 25 and I'm standing on a train next to you.

–Metro-North

Art student: I wanna write a diary, like, "8:45, kill boyfriend."

–NYU

Man on street selling knockoff perfume: C'mon ladies, buy this perfume. It will help you get a boyfriend! Don't get a cheap boyfriend, get some cheap perfume!

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: Kiran

Girl to friend: From now on, I am only having sex with one boyfriend.

–Marlow & Sons

Posted on September 9, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Books & Writing, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Fighting and ass kicking, Friends, Girls, God, Guys, Knock-Offs, Love, Money & Class, Murder, NYU, One-liners, Public Transportation, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Street, Students, Teens, Threats, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vendors & Street Performers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires

Guys