Wednesday One-Liners for Kendra

Young lady: Stupid people have more fun!

–Chrystie & Housten

Overheard by: Probably True…

Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Would the street be safer?

Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit.

–Duane Reade

Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid.

–Inwood

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect!

–34th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Katface

Posted on July 8, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Customers, Duane Reade, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Insults, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, One-liners, Parents, Smokers & Smoking, Street, Stupidity, Times Square, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Monotonous and Covered in Other People’s Sweat?

Middle-aged woman exiting subway: Man, these are a lotta steps.
Young white woman: Yeah, living in New York is like living on a Stairmaster.
Middle-aged black woman: Amen, sister.

–Broadway & Fulton

Posted on July 7, 2015
Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On the Subway, Sports, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

That’s Your Solution to Everything

Husband: What do you want to do?
Wife: I want to get a massage.
Husband: You want a Chinese massage? I’ll put on stilletos and walk on your back.

–12th & 4th

Overheard by: lbp

Posted on July 6, 2015
Assholes, Couples, Health and Hygiene, Offers and requests, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Many People Are Simply Incapable Of Political Discussion

Hipster guy, finishing a story: And so I said “suck on that, commie!”
Hipster girl: Wait, what?
Hipster guy: By “commie”, I mean “communist.” And by “suck on that,” I mean my cock.
Hipster girl, disappointed: Oh.
Gay hipster guy: I get it! But, I mean, what about the chafing?

–Q Train

Overheard by: Alexx

Posted on July 6, 2015
Guys, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Insults, On the Subway, Penis, Politics, Queer guys, Questions

I Wanna Dip My Wednesday One-Liners in It!

Dude, walking up to security desk in emergency room: Hi. It feels like my balls are about to fall off.

–St. Lukes Roosevelt Hospital

Overheard by: Kate Melvin

Stoner chick: The girls are all hairy balls, and the photos look like hairy balls, and they wear hairy ball sacks, but Tyra is the biggest hairy ball of them all.

–7 train

Overheard by: bronwyn

Out-of-place guido: I ain’t wearing nothin’ that touches my balls to my asshole!

–8th Ave

Overheard by: finds it comforting

Teenage boy to friends, about a movie: Yooo, it’s like a chick flick with balls!!! You know, like a guy’s chick flick!!!"

–E 85th St & 3rd Ave

Guy: I use Burt’s bees for my balls.

–Broadway & W 4th

Overheard by: Jake R

Guy #1 to guy #2: I really think you’d feel a lot better if you felt my balls.

–6th Ave & Bleecker

Posted on July 4, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Balls, Boys, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Gender issues, Girls, Guidos, Guys, Hair, Health and Hygiene, Hospitals, Insects, On the Subway, Stoners, Street, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side

How to Tell If Your Dentist’s a Virgin

Dentist: You don’t have any allergies, do you?
Patient: Penicillin.
Dentist: But no latex allergies or anything like that?
Patient: No! Oh my God, no! Wow. That would be totally horrible and depressing.
Dentist: Why, are you a med student or something?
Patient: …No.

–Columbia University Dental Practice, Amsterdam Ave

Posted on July 4, 2015
Columbia (& Barnard), Condoms, Doctors, Health and Hygiene

Don’t Ask What She Does for Birth Control

Really trendy girl #1: So do you want to go tanning after the gym?
Really trendy girl #2: Yeah, but I don’t want to get skin cancer.
Really trendy girl #1: Yeah, me neither. That’s why I wear underwear.

–42nd & Lex

Overheard by: Just wanted some starbucks

Posted on July 3, 2015
Fashion, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Restaurants & Cafes

You Really Do Get a Little Something Extra with a Columbia Education.

College miniskirt #1: Wow, I feel so nauseous.
College miniskirt #2: It must be all the Adderall we took.
College miniskirt #1: You're right, I'll probably just throw it up when we get to the bar.

–110th St & Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: Nikki