Woman: Do you like the perfume I’m wearing?
Man: It smells like a sanitary napkin…Before it’s used, of course.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Christina Rusnak
Woman: Do you like the perfume I’m wearing?
Man: It smells like a sanitary napkin…Before it’s used, of course.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Christina Rusnak
Thirtysomething mom on cell: That boy of your is too fat. [Pause] Well, you keep feeding him hamburgers. That’s why he has titties. He’s an A-cup.
–M15 bus
Drunk NYU dude: You guys know that loose skin around your shaft or whatever? Push it over the tip of your dick. It feels like you have three balls. Three balls! Fucking sweet!
–NYU
Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual
Dude: I swear to god dude, I can feel my balls moving from side to side today!
–5th Ave
Hipster girl: Balls have no place in my mouth. Gum, chicken, or any other kind.
–F Train
Overheard by: Teabag
Loud fat black chick : I wanna kiss the balls of the person who made these cookies.
–Broadway
Overheard by: sounds yummy
Meathead on cell: I got some good shit for you for the gym. Shoot this shit in your ass three times a week and you'll look like The Incredible Hulk in no time… I can't believe you're doing all this stuff to impress your wife. We'll see how impressed she is when you don't have any balls anymore because you're on steroids. Who knows, maybe she'll start fucking me instead.
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: vicky
Guy on phone: I know classical music well enough to know that Vivaldi had no balls.
–42nd St & 10th Ave
Girl #1: I don’t normally carry a bag of vomit with me as a weapon.
Girl #2: We should market that.
–54th & 7th
Guy: I'll give you what I normally give you.
Girl #1: A toothbrush?
Girl #2: A penis in your face.
–113th & Amsterdam
Scruffy guy: Maybe you’re allergic to kangaroo milk.
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Elaina
Hipster dude on cell: Dude, what the fuck? Everywhere I go in your city there’s, like, no eggnog.
–Mercer St
Overheard by: omar
Street sock vendor to another: This country’s immigration problems could all be solved if they just stopped selling Corona.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Cameron Rose
Crazy guy: Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some fuckin’ water! Dumb bitch forgot the fuckin’ water. Go back up that hill, bitch, and get me my fuckin’ water!
–C train
Overheard by: Chrissy
Thug to wife: Yo, this nigga don’t trust nothin’ ‘less it has an umbrella stickin’ out of it. That’s gangsta!
–Atlantic Station Pathmark
Overheard by: Kosi
Metro male #1: I was gonna stop smoking…again… But when I take Adderall I smoke a lot more.
Metro male #2: What's it like?
Metro male #1: Adderall?
Metro male #2: Yeah.
Metro male #1: It's like being at a bar, drunk, hitting on girls.
Metro male #2: What?
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: David Last
Woman on cell: Hey! Hey can you hear me? Listen, I have the extra pair of underwear from the colonoscopy and I forgot to take them out of my bag…
–12th Street & 7th Avenue
Overheard by: Caroline
Guy #1: Do you have a light?
Guy #2: I don’t think you should smoke, this is a cancer walk.
Guy #1: Yes, but it’s not for lung cancer.
–South Street Seaport
Girl: I shaved everything off down there, and I’ve never felt so accessible!
–A train
Blonde on cell: What’s aftershave? Is that the thing you put on after you shave?
–The Body Shop, 8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jack Rittymanee
Woman on cell: Yeah, all you do is wear cheap panties and don’t shave.
–Garfield & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Greasy man: Fuck, I have to go shave my balls now!
–23rd & 5th
NYU student to girlfriend: You know, it’s kind of like when you shave your butt.
–F train, between York St & E Broadway
Overheard by: j. asner
Ghetto lady to guy: I never shave my legs unless I’m tryin’ to make a statement or somethin’. I mean, that’s some serious shit.
–Broadway & LaSalle
Overheard by: nekko-chan
Punk rocker with crazy pink hair: And, I mean, she was good-looking and all, but I was like, ‘What the hell do you think I want a bunch of pictures of girls shaving their pussies for?! I don’t want that shit!’
–JMZ train, Myrtle stop
Overheard by: Don’t forward them to me!
