Hobo, picking up a nervous patron's martini glass: Dang, this looks good–do you mind…?
Woman: No, it's all yours, you can have it. I don't want it anymore.
Hobo, sipping, then violently spitting vodka to the ground: Lord! This taste like shit! White folks ain't got no taste for alcohol.
Woman: That's a Belvedere martini.
Hobo: Yeah, that supposed to be good?
–30th & 3rd
Overheard by: Anniemal
Bag lady: What’s the matter, you get your wisdom teeth out?
The guy nods.
Bag lady: That’s pretty miserable, huh?
He nods.
Bag lady: Yeah, I remember when I took mine out.
–6 train
Two Chinese men sit down on the bench next to a sleeping homeless man trying to sleep.
Hobo: Ah, hell no! You’re not going to start having a conversation like that at 3 in the fuckin’ morning…I ain’t got no motherfucking subtitle button on me!
–49th Street station
Overheard by: Schweiz
Hobo: Spare change?
Passer-by: Sorry, man.
Hobo: Really sorry?
Passer-by: Not sorry at all, actually.
Hobo: (laughs uproariously)
–Upper West Side
Hobo: What you got?! What you got!? What you got?!
White frat boyfriend: I got hos, yo!
White sorority girlfriend: Hey!
White frat boyfriend: I’m not talking about you. I just mean in general.
–33rd & 7th
Hobo #1: Hey man, pull yourself together. Get up, bro. Get up. I want to sit down, bro. Get up. Some people want a seat.
Hobo #2: You’re a slut.
Hobo #1: Yeah I’m a slut, but you a ho.
Hobo #2: I’m a ho because of sluts like you.
Hobo #1: Look, man, look at the clock. It’s 8:21, bro. If I catch you lying down on my train again before 12 o’clock, I’m going to kick your ass. You called me a slut, I’ll kick your ass. Now you know.
–L train
Overheard by: V
Hobo: Excuse me, miss, can I have a kiss?
Girl #1: Um, no. I have to go. Bye!
Hobo: Well, what about your friend?
Girl #2: …No. What am I to you, next in line?
–99th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ally
Charity rep. with big water bottle of money: Give so that homeless won't go hungry, even a dollar helps!
Homeless guy in wheelchair: Give me some of that money, I'm homeless.
Charity rep: Sorry, doesn't work like that.
–Times Square
Beggar to two girls: Jesus loves you.
Girl #1: No, he doesn't.
Beggar: Yes, he does! Jesus loves everyone!
Girl #2: Yeah, okay.
Beggar: But he does, he loves you!
Girl #1: No, really, he doesn't. She's Jewish.
Beggar: Shit, I'm sorrrry.
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Madelyn
Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money?
–47th & 5th
Overheard by: Adam Bertocci
Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money!
–M14 bus
Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change!
–14th between 5th & University
Overheard by: theNJl
Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money.
–Starbucks, 27th & Park
Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson
