Drunk guy to friend: Everybody knows that if you're a Boy Scout in the Midwest, you're a fucking asshole.
Friend: I know.
–43rd St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Joey
Drunk guy to friend: Everybody knows that if you're a Boy Scout in the Midwest, you're a fucking asshole.
Friend: I know.
–43rd St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Joey
(Asian guy cuts in front of black guy in suit and starts peeing into toilet)
Black guy in suit: I was here first.
Asian guy: I have to go more.
Black guy in suit: Move or I am going to piss on your back, motherfucker.
(Black guy now stands side by side with Asian guy at toilet, both actually peeing into same toilet while trying to push each other away)
–W 4th Pizza Place
Professor: This episode contains a bunch of Jewish stereotypes, so I want to show a lot of it.
–Lincoln Center, Fordham University
Overheard by: Hartley
Boy with chinstrap and McDreamy quaff: Yo man, you tellin' me you never heard the story about when we got chased down by 1,000 Jews?!
–7-Eleven, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Brandi, Anna and a bunch of other people
Stunning black girl with big afro, to nebbishy guy eating Chinese food: I can be Jewish in three months. Does it require any money? No! Fuck you! I can be Jewish in three months!
–back garden at madame x
Overheard by: Erica
Woman walking past Young Frankenstein posters: Oh my god! Mel Brooks is like my favorite old Jew ever!! Well, except for Moses and Abraham.
–Hilton Theater
Overheard by: Roy
Hipster on cell: Your friend just came up to me, grabbed my nose, and asked, "Are you Jewish?"
–Piano's Lounge
Overheard by: Brittany Smith
Mysterious and intense voice amid grunts and groans: Oh yeah! Give it to me, you fucking Jewish dickhead!
–Building, 46th & 10th
Overheard by: Not a Sexual AntiSemite
Really pissed mom: And do you know what size unicorn they tried on her first? Medium.
–Macy's
Cafe employee, about pastries: Those look like fairy testicles.
–HopScotch Cafe
Overheard by: bildita
Guy yelling to passers-by: You're all materialistic, yuppie, vampire kings!
–W4th & Cornelia
Overheard by: greg
Man on cell: So Santa Claus will be there?
–Broadway & Wall St
Woman: When she was a newborn she looked exactly like Yoda, and then she grew up into Dopey.
–Penn Plaza
Five-year-old boy looking out of window: Ahh! I hate the sun! Vampires hate the sun!
–Q Train
Overheard by: LoRna
College girl to her boyfriend: Yeah, but you always make sexual advances on my roommates.
–Lincoln Center
Serious student: Yeah, well, I really don't want to talk about my roommate's penis anymore.
–LaGuardia & Washington Square South
Chick to friend: It's not about the toilet paper, his roommate only used baby wipes.
–Spring St & Mott St
Overheard by: Nick Caylor
NYU kid on cell: I'm still hoping to live in housing next year unless my roommates find out that I got arrested.
–Mercer & Waverly
Young suit into cell: You pissed on my toothbrush!? What the fuck? Fine, I'll get you a new pouffe… Fuck you! Pink or purple? Just get me a new toothbrush! You know what kind! Always, right? The blue ones or the yellow ones? Well, did you get your period or no? Okay… Okay… fine… fine… fine! Look, I'll be home around seven, okay? (yelling) I don't care who you're fucking, it's your turn to cook! Right, fine, talk later, okay? (hangs up, to very attractive female companion) She's really just my roommate…
–82nd & Lexington
Runner: The top 20% of New Yorkers couldn't exist without the…
Hobo (interrupting): The top 20% of New Yorkers suck.
–80th & Columbus
Overheard by: 20 percenter
Crazy guy: I don't give a fuck! I'll fight all ya'll muthafuckas! I'm from Brooklyn East New York, nigga! I'll fuck up every muthafucka in here…
Old guy: Bitch, you step on my shoe! I'll take my belt off and beat your ass with it! Look at my hair- it's grey! You don't talk to me like that, I beat your ass!
Crazy guy: Uhh… I don't fight old people–that's bad luck. (awkwardly exits car)
–1 Train
College girl: Fuck, I have to do this research paper on Anne Frank over the holiday week!
College guy #1: Make sure to include the part about her being a lesbian.
College guy #2: Anne Frank was not a lesbian, you idiot!
College guy #3: No, I am pretty sure I saw one of the videos she made once.
College girl (walking away): I'm gonna go throw up.
College guy #2: How the hell did either of you even get into college?
–8th St & 6th Ave
(a little black boy is skipping away from his group)
Middle aged black lady: Yeah, you skip Cosmo!
Nerdy 13-year-old white boy: Yeah, skip to your own fuckin' loo, motherfucker!
–6th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Christiana Little
White college dude with glasses: Guys, you absolutely must check out this new reality television show. It is off the hiz-ook. Literally, off the hiz-ook.
College chick: Why do we hang out with you?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Vicksburg
