Concerned woman: I just worry that the Messiah will come and I won't be Jewish yet.
Friend: Mmm…
Concerned woman: I mean, I just really hope I'm Jewish by next Yom Kippur.
Friend: Yeah.
–F Train
Overheard by: dee
Concerned woman: I just worry that the Messiah will come and I won't be Jewish yet.
Friend: Mmm…
Concerned woman: I mean, I just really hope I'm Jewish by next Yom Kippur.
Friend: Yeah.
–F Train
Overheard by: dee
Tourist: What’s that entrance right over there… Where it says, ‘Exit’?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Ms. Dubs
Man to wife and children: I don’t know why you’re following me! I have no clue where I’m going!
–Rockefeller Center
Drunk male tourist: What time does Times Square close?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Genissimo
Southern tourist dad: ‘Papa Yaking’? What in the hell kinda crazy Jewish name is that?
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Manhattman
Fat Southern lady with teal leggings standing beside fat man with large rodeo belt buckle and USS Nimitz hat to security guard: We’re tourists…
–MoMA
Overheard by: Daniel B
Teen girl #1: Yeah, so being Jewish is worlds of fun. We are better than everyone else.
Teen girl #2: I want to be Jewish!
Mom of girl #1: Sorry, honey, we are the chosen people.
Queer passerby: Not with that nose, honey.
–19th & 5th
Businessman (to hobo): Well, you’ve got to admit, there’s a lot of Jewish women and men in the city who will try to screw you over.
–Central Park
Girl #1: Look at those characters over there.
Girl #2: They’re Hasidic Jews.
–A train
Overheard by: ham
Guy #1: What was that guy trying to sell you on?
Guy #2: Judaism.
Guy #1: Oh.
–42nd & Park
Daughter tourist: Wow! Look at him.
Mother tourist: Yeah, who knew there were so many Amish in New York?
–Bowling Green Park
Overheard by: Lauhginallthe way
Woman preaching: Jesus loves you!
Obviously Jewish girl: Well, supposedly we killed him, so I don’t think so.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: G
Pretty orthodox Jewish girl #1: Man, if I wasn't religious, I would be such a slut.
Pretty orthodox Jewish girl #2: I hear ya.
–Kings County Hospital
Overheard by: awesome sauce
Protestant street preacher with mic: You’re going down the Broadway to Hell.
–42nd & 8th
Subway preacher: When you buy a tree and put that in your house, and when you put all the presents under the tree, that’s all for Satan, not for Jesus. One day I was thinking about how the name Santa looks familiar, and I’m thinking to myself, Goddammit… No, wait, sorry. I’m thinking to myself, Santa… No, that’s Satan. You see? They kept the S but they just changed all the rest of the letters around.
–Brooklyn-bound C train
Overheard by: P. Mills
Suit on cell: The only thing is, she’s so innocent. I need someone to curse at me and spit in my face. I need some rough, yelling-at-each-other sex. I’m like Satan and she’s the Virgin Mary.
–Metro-North train, Grand Central
Hardhat: I don’t know if I’m going to heaven; I don’t know if I’m going to hell… All I know is I have to change at Jamaica.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Rob
Yuppie woman talking to herself: The devil is a liar — a fucking liar!
–Outside Lincoln Plaza Theatre
Overheard by: SLC kid
Teacher: I’m going to burn in Hell for this… Wait! I’m Jewish! I don’t believe in Hell! I’m not going to burn! Yay!
–Hunter College High
