Small child in Bebe's to mannequin wearing zippered skirt: Woo woo!
Grandpa: Zippa zippa!
–34th St & 6th Ave
Small child in Bebe's to mannequin wearing zippered skirt: Woo woo!
Grandpa: Zippa zippa!
–34th St & 6th Ave
Conductor, very loudly and emphatically: This is 28th Street. 34th Street is next, stand clear of the closing doors!
Four-year-old girl to mother: Why is he upset?
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: mersayseh
Hobo: Hey, this weather sucks huh?
BMX kids: Yeah, totally.
Hobo: You know, the Koreans find storm clouds before they come and shoot them with missiles, so they never get bad weather.
BMX kids: Wow, why is our weather still bad?
Hobo: Koreans…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Dylan
Dad: You are being very annoying right now, you know that?
10-year-old girl: Well, it's a good thing mom didn't have twins, huh?
–World of Disney Store
Overheard by: CollegiateCutie
Four-year-old girl #1, looking at exhibit of NorthWest Coast Indians: I like her because she's pretty.
Four-year-old girl #2: I like you because you're pretty.
–Natural History Museum
Overheard by: E. M. Rees
Train conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, there are four doors on each subway car. If one of them is crowded, walk over to another door. Seriously! We do not need 86 people standing at 86th Street. Just move to another door. It's simple mathematics!
–C Train
Teen shopper to friend: I like hate math except for like…when I'm counting calories and stuff.
–Fashion Closet
Girl to guy: Some people believe in the laws of attraction, I believe in the laws of subtraction.
–Bus Stop Cafe
Pharmacist to another: What's one half of a half?
–CVS
African-American father to five-year-old daughter: You see? That's why I send you to a Chinese school. Because those Chinese kids know how to do math. You gotta know how to do math if you want to make something of yourself. If I sent you to a black school, you'd just turn into a crackhead. If I sent you to a white school you'd turn into an asshole. But those Chinese kids, man, they know how to do shit.
–4 Train
Teacher: And if your friend comes up to you and says, "man, yesterday I had cosecant pi plus cotangent 2 pi slices of pizza today," …and you went and figured it out, you'd look at him and say "man, you're an asshole!"
–Hunter College High School
Overheard by: Kevo
Man yelling at children: If I see it I spank it!
–94th St & Columbus
Overheard by: olivia
Mother to complaining seven-year-old daughter: Let's pretend we're the Israelites wandering in the desert.
–42nd St & 8th Ave
Mom to child: If you do that again, I swear to god, I will make you ride outside! I will strap you to the wing and make you ride outside!
–JetBlue Plane, JFK Tarmac
Woman to small child looking at store window: Jean-Claude, you simply cannot be this demanding at two and a half!
–3rd Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Paula Katinas
Mother to screaming child: You are so mean! Who raised you? Wild animals? Indians?
–Greene St, SoHo
Overheard by: Mememonkey
Mom getting on subway to small kids: Well, now you know what "burlesque" means!
–1 Train
Seven-year-old boy: Will I meet my goldfish in heaven someday?
Mother: I don't know anything about what happens to goldfish when they die, but I can tell you that there is no god.
–Bleecker & MacDougal
Reverend: God was too big to die. So he lives, and so it's an empty cross.
Child: (asks unheard question)
Reverend: Well, you could use them against vampires too.
–First Presbyterian Church, 5th Ave
