Mother, to young son running up steps: Come back down!
[Boy sits down on top step.]Mother: We can go look for some worms!
[Boy thinks for a minute.]Boy: Ok! [goes back down.]
–Columbia University
Mother, to young son running up steps: Come back down!
[Boy sits down on top step.]Mother: We can go look for some worms!
[Boy thinks for a minute.]Boy: Ok! [goes back down.]
–Columbia University
Little boy: But I was really excited for her to get a hernia!
–35th & 6th
Overheard by: alix
Eleven-year-old boy, to classmate that he just hit with a ball representing "responsibility": Oooooooo!!! You just got pounded in the face with responsibility!!!
–Bushwick, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Their Proud Counselor
Ten-year-old girl, about figures: Why do they all have to be boys?
–Bodies: The Exhibition, South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Robert
Young child crossing the street while holding his mothers hand: [Singing] Please… Don’t… Enter me.
–70th St & Columbus
Little boy: It’s not illegal to jiggle.
–6th & 17th
Preschooler to daddy: Can I get that three hundred dollars now?
–UES
Ghetto kid at a carnival: Man, that wasn’t no clown. That was just someone dressed like a clown!
–P.S. 218, The Bronx
Overheard by: Children are the future
Fourteen-year-old black girl to friend: You should have thrown a brick at a clown and seen the blood. You would have loved that.
–7th Ave Street Fair, Park Slope
Overheard by: send in the clowns
Little girl, pointing at obvious pimp: Look mommy, look! A clown!
–Brooklyn
Janitor to clown post-show: Everybody loves clowns. Even Bill Gates!
–Barnum & Bailey Circus
Slightly crazed looking man to well-dressed blonde chick: For $300 you’ll get a clown and a playboy bunny!
–E4th & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: I might consider paying up
[A Girl is running ahead of her mom and yelling.]Mom: Get back here!
[Girl continues her rowdy behavior.]Little girl: No! Ahhhhh!
Mom: Stop yelling like that! You’re going to scare the humans.
–59th & Lex
Little black boy in school group: Why are there all white people here? Is this a white people place, Miss Hannah?
Teacher: Well…
–Museum of Natural History
Little boy, shouting and grabbing magic wand from his sister: No! I wanna be Hermione! It’s my turn to be Hermione!
Little girl: Be Harry! His magic’s better!
Little boy: But Hermione’s clothes are so much cooler!
–Barnes and Noble, E 86th St
Overheard by: Noel Coward
Daughter: I was a needle!
Mom: How were you a needle?
Daughter: I was a cute needle!
–10th & 6th Ave
Dad to young daughter: If you want to hit daddy, you’ll have to take a number.
–Outside Court St. Bagels, Court & Bergen, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Exhausted dad to loud, hyperactive, young son: Yes, everyone knows you’re here. Terminal six food court line.
–JFK
Overheard by: Jen
Mother, to seven-year-old son as she enters a liquor store: Jesus, what’s wrong with you? This is why nobody likes you -you’re annoying!
–Outside Liquor Store, W 57th St
Overheard by: PetRunner
Father quizzically looking at waddling toddler: How can you be anti-park? I mean, you’re a kid! You can run around!
–Fort Greene Park
Overheard by: Brooklyn Dodgy
Sassy inner-city mom to dawdling daughter: Get ovah here or I’m going to have to take out my imaginary belt.
–Tompkins Square Park
Mother, to five-year-old daughter picking up cookies: Is that what you eat at daddy’s house?
–The Food Emporium, 88th St
Overheard by: charlotte
Mother speaking sternly to her infant in the baby carriage: Capiche???
–53rd & 9th
Overheard by: AH Hell’s Kitchen
Nanny: You have to try not to bump into people and they will do the same.
Little girl, swerving: How?
Nanny: You need to try to walk in a straight line.
Little girl, shocked: But I don’t want to be straight!
–Washington Square Park
Little girl: Daddy, what’s that building?
Harried dad: The Goldman-Sachs building, I think, in Jersey City.
Little boy: What town is that on top of the hill?
Harried dad: Union city.
Little girl: What are they building there?
Harried dad: Condos. Jesus, will you two turn around? I didn’t pay $45 for you to look at New Jersey.
–NY Waterway Ferry
Overheard by: Atlantic13
