Guy #1: You know, you never would have even heard of Halloween if I hadn’t told you about it.
Guy #2: Whatever.
–9th Ave & 15th St
Overheard by: Don Willmott
Guy #1: You know, you never would have even heard of Halloween if I hadn’t told you about it.
Guy #2: Whatever.
–9th Ave & 15th St
Overheard by: Don Willmott
Marketing girl: Would you like to try a new perfume? It's for you and your pet!
–Bryant Park, Outside Fashion Week Tents
Overheard by: jycho
Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to petfinder.com.
–Student Center, Barnard
Overheard by: Kristine
Man trying to sell comedy club tickets: Cheaper than an abortion! More entertaining than the crucifixion! More fun than euthanizing your pets!
–50th Ave & Broadway
Overheard by: Colleen
Queer on cell: Well, women are just pets for straight men.
–E 10th St
Woman on cell: So are you going to tell your daughter that you ate her pet?
–20th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jesse S G
Thug #1: Oh, shit! It’s the po-po! Let’s get outta here, man! Come on, let’s go!
Thug #2: Yo, chill, we ain’t done nothing wrong!
Thug #1: Yeah, you’re right, dog… just a reaction.
–21st & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: SUSAN
Chick #1: Yeah…I put all kinds of really weird stuff in it.
Chick #2: What, like carrots?
–27th & 3rd
Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany?
–Barracuda
Overheard by: barkeeper
Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial?
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here
Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday?
–N Train
Overheard by: D-Law
Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people?
–ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: jennyooooo
Student: Is Swedish even a language?
–Columbia University
Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both?
–M86 Crosstown Bus
Old woman: You should really go to the men’s homeless shelter.
Hobo: I’m a woman.
–25th & 3rd
Overheard by: Marcus
Hip woman: …then I slit my wrists–
Hip guy: Um?
Hip woman: –and he sucked my blood.
–5th Ave. & 19th St.
Black woman: Sixteen dollars? That paper better be made out of Jesus's ass.
–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Emily B.
40-something to friends: And what's going on with the fucking baby Jesus over there?
–Starbucks
Guy on cell: In my class, we were talking about how Jesus was a Viking warrior.
–Queens College
Woman, about Matt Lauer and Katie Couric: See, this is why Jesus Christ and the Pharisees didn't get along.
–22nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Rachel Peters
Woman on phone on the night before Easter: No, I do not want you at my house right now. (pause) I'm going home to watch The Ten Commandments and read my bible–Jesus is coming back tomorrow!
–B44 Bus
Overheard by: Micah
Drunk high school girl: If Jesus had discovered a cure for dry mouth, he'd be a lot more popular!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Smudge
Guy in monk costume: I mean, it would be so easy to hide in this outfit.
Friend: Yeah, really.
Guy in monk costume: I'll just shoot it under the robe. I mean, after all, it is Halloween!
–26th & 5th
Dude #1: …so she like told me all penises were ugly. That they were just ugly organs, so I was like, “Yeah? Well, then from now on you can’t get any of mine!”
Dude #2: Ha, ha.
Dude #1: So she all took her clothes off and then we did it.
Dude #2: Ha, ha.
Dude #1: The best way to get a chick is to act like you don’t care and you get laid immediately.
–19th & Broadway
