Drunk guy #1: Yo, let me get a cheese slice. No… Actually, what is that?
Drunk guy #2: It’s a lasagna slice.
Drunk guy #1: Nah, I need some fuckin meat. Give me a slice with some fuckin meat on it. Oh! You got any slices with alcohol? Give me a slice with alcohol on it. Give me some alcohol!
–Moon Pie Pizza, 4th St & Avenue C
Overheard by: soyloaf
30ish girl, looking at twenty-year olds: Are they going on about how old they are? Oh, please.
45ish rocker chick: Yup, they are.
30ish girl: I think I’m older than they are!
45ish: Me too. From the look of things, they’re about the age of my first abortion.
30ish girl: [Chokes on beer.]45ish: Wonder how old that would be now?
30ish girl: Please stop.
–Double Down, Ave A
Overheard by: Happygirl
Hot drunk girl #1: Hey, Alice, can Asian people have dreadlocks?
Hot drunk guy: No, you have to be black or Jewish.
Hot drunk girl #2: I’m Jewish!
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Dreadless Jew
Boy waving banana: Want this?
Frustrated girl: I don’t need a banana. I have a boyfriend.
–College Walk, Columbia University
Hispanic girl: You’re always showing off!
Black kid: What?
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black kid: Stop it!
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black passenger guy: Man, why’s it always gotta be our people pulling this shit? You never see white people pulling this shit. You never see Chinese people pulling this shit. Man!
–C Train
Overheard by: Noelle
Guy with thick New York accent: Come on, let’s go.
[Dog lies down on back.]Guy: Don’t do that Mahatma Gandhi shit!
–Washington Square Dog Run
Overheard by: KidUgly
Guy #1: Man, do you think *Jane is hot?
Guy #2: I mean she’s smart, but I wouldn’t say she’s hot. Why do you think she’s into you?
Guy #1: Well, I think that she thinks I’m arrogant, but I’m not. It just comes off that way because I’m really insecure, my confidence is all fake.
Guy #3: Hey, I think that girl is listening to us… And she’s laughing.
Guy #1: Anyway… Can we please talk about my insecurities for a while, we never talk about me.
–Metro North
Overheard by: texting her friend the whole convo
Muscular bouncer, to drunk girl: I’ll make sure you get in, because you’ve got that cute little lip ring.
Drunk girl: Want to see what else I’ve got?
Fat bouncer: I do!
–310 Bowery
Overheard by: Vasu
Crazy church lady into microphone: There are no drugs, sex, or rock n’ roll in hell. Repent and have your fill in heaven.
–42nd & 6th Subway Station
Overheard by: Tony
Train "preacher" holding his bible: Adam was the first black man! And Eve was the first white woman! And Adam sinned and got them kicked out of the Garden of Eden. Then they had a whole lot of brown babies! But they set the stage for black men and white women. That’s why you have Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton running for President today! It’s in the bible!
–2 Train
Preacher: We’ve got a lot of tourists here today and we know why you came -you want to see a black gospel church. And that’s okay, that’s okay! That’s what we are. And you know, some of our members, they do it tough. Why, they come from such rough neighbourhoods as Connecticut and upstate New York …
–Abyssinian Baptist Church, Harlem
Bible thumper: You need a ticket to get on the heaven-bound train! And the ticket is Jesus Christ.
–3 Train
Street preacher: … And what is good for the goose is good for the gander! And what is a gander, anyway?
–St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: EthanK
Girl, to boyfriend: And that’s why you can never trust the emotions or actions of someone whose star sign is ruled by mars.
–20th & 7th
Overheard by: ALR
Barista to waiter: I don’t mind that I spent $130 on a pair of Oakleys cause I can look at the sun for a while and it won’t hurt my eyes.
–Long Island Railroad
Overheard by: Chris K.
Baby boomer hippie to college student: Dude, I just got me some of that Afghani shit. Took me to the mooooooon and back, baby!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Summer
Doonesbury looking dude: Imagine what life would be like without the sun.
–40th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Ledbetter
Girl, being shaken awake by friend: But Rachel, where are you going to put the black hole?
–A Train
Bum on street, to several protesters passing by in pure white bio-hazard suits: Aw… You people wait right there, I’m a run and get some cigarettes then I’m comin’ to the moon with ya’ll. Seriously… Wait.
–45 & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Comack
