Dad to three-year-old daughter: No, honey, moose don't moo.
Daughter: Moose don't moo?
–7 train
Dad to three-year-old daughter: No, honey, moose don't moo.
Daughter: Moose don't moo?
–7 train
Girl #1: You still haven't told me what you want for Christmas.
Girl #2: I don't know, um, I like books…
Girl #1: You like books, or you like reading books?
–F Train
Overheard by: Heidi
Large African-American woman: Mm-hmm.
Slightly less large African-American woman: Mm-hmm! (shakes head)
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: WA
Skinny dude: He was shocked!
Fat dude: It's not easy to shock a guy who wrangles trannies for a living.
–Q Train
Flamboyant man in sunglasses, after pushing his way into the closing doors: Whew, I made it, I don't have to wait 20 minutes… Where's my applause?
(two tourists applaud half-heartedly)
Flamboyant man: Thank you, thank you. Now don't you feel better now that you've applauded?
–A Train
Young suit on cell while at bar with coworkers: Yeah, I'm still at work right now, I'll call you when I'm done.
–The Dubliner Bar
Overheard by: Keekz
Young woman on cell: Hi, dad… Yeah, I'm in New York… Yes, I'm at Grand Central, I just got off the train.
–JFK Taxi Stand
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Earnest man on cell: Yes, no, I'm driving there. I'll be there in ten minutes. What? That's a passenger. Ten to twelve minutes… Hello? I can't talk, I don't have a headset.
–B Train
Overheard by: Emily
Skanky girl on cell walking down street at fairly slow pace: I'm like, running.
–7th Ave & 47th St
Overheard by: Serena
Young mother to toddler son, about creepy man on train: Don't be like him when you grow up. Guys like him don't get a lotta bitches."
–4 Train
Overheard by: Mollie Reznick
JAP to companion: Gosh, I hate her. She's such a bitch. No, we haven't met before. I don't want to meet her; she's a bitch.
–L Train
Overheard by: high school was so two years ago
Woman leaving voicemail: Don't worry about the page 6 thing. It'll blow over, then we'll bury that bitch!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: David G
Gangsta: So then I had my wedding ring melted down and put in my mouth. So every time that bitch saw me smile, she saw my ring.
–A Train
Overheard by: jm
LIRR commuter: And look, I love my daughter to death, but that girl is a *bitch*!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Andy
SUV driver to pedicab trying to make its way through the snow: Hey, buddy! I got a reindeer, ya wanna buy it?
–8th Ave & 48th St
Loud 13-year-old: Shut the fuck up, it's almost Christmas.
–B Train
Overheard by: Taylor
Middle-aged guy on cell: You'll never guess what I'm doing for Christmas. You'll never guess in a million years. (pause) Uhm, yeah, that's pretty close.
–8th Ave
Guy dressed in Santa costume on cell: Stop being such a weenie!
–Midtown
Angry little girl to older brother: If you don't let Santa out of our closet I will!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Taylor
Hobo #1: Yesterday was about embarrassing questions, like “what is a fart?”, or “what is a belch?” Or “why does my pussy stink?” Or “what is plastic surgery?” And they show portions of plastic surgery. And it's a program that I really connected to… It has the highest ratings. I'm up at six o'clock, walking my cats, waking my ass up.
Hobo #2: Yeah, I watch that show too…
Hobo #1 interrupting: No, that's not the same that some acting tv dramas. This 'bout real shit, it's about real questions and real answers. Most people don't even know what their bodies look like. But they got psychologists, they got surgeons…
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: typing it all into my blackberry as fast as I could
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: So, you know Liz on the 10th floor?
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah, what about her?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: I was trying to tell her that she needs to stop fuckin with me.
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah, what'd she say?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: Bitch hung up in my face.
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: Yeah. I called her back.
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah, what'd you say?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: I said, “Yo, Liz! That was like maaaad unprofessional and shit.”
–1 Train
Overheard by: MissUNYC
