Guy to friends: Did anyone leave a belt at my house? I found one in my tree.
–LIRR
Overheard by: hbs
Guy to friends: Did anyone leave a belt at my house? I found one in my tree.
–LIRR
Overheard by: hbs
Little girl, watching one dog hump another: Mommy, you missed it! One of the dogs was giving the other one a piggyback ride!
–Dog run, Madison Square Park
Disillusioned guy: Yeah, man, he kicked the shit out of Santa Claus just last week, and I was shocked ’cause I thought Santa was psychic.
–K-Mart, 34th St
Overheard by: ginpalace
Girl in lacy red tank top, black bra and low-cut pants, with a lower-back tattoo, on cell: So I had an 8:45 meeting with a congressman today that I totally forgot about. It’s like 8:50!
–77th & 3rd
Entendre Queen, to 4-year-old daughter: Now you’ll have alone playtime for 40 minutes. Then Mommy will play with herself after that for another 40 minutes. Then Daddy will join Mommy for some playtime. You can either watch Mommy and Daddy play or go play on your own again.
–207th & Broadway
Overheard by: Elizabeth R.
Little boy, waiting in line to see “Bodies” exhibit: Are there gonna be rides?
–South Street Seaport
Little girl, playing with her inattentive mother’s cell: Nine… One…
–Atlantic Center, Brooklyn
Overheard by: wee e
Little girl, humming to herself: Cat cat dog, I am a tree! Eeeee! Minute Maid Coke, I am a poodle! Eeeee!
–Brooklyn bound Q train
Little boy: Eddie, I like that torture a lot!
–Dizzy’s, 9th St & 8th Ave, Park Slope
Little girl: Mom, I am highly disappointed in the construction.
–71st Rd, Forest Hills
3-year-old girl: Daddy, does this helmet make me look crazy?
–13th & University
Little boy: Simon says reach into everybody’s pants!
–Waiting room, Mt. Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: Jobee
Girl: I think Elvis died on my birthday…No, wait, Elvis died on Madonna’s birthday. Why do I always get that confused?
–36th St
Geeky guy: Dudes, we are staying at the Bellagio. That gives us instant credibility.
–Jet Blue Terminal, JFK
Overheard by: Dungy
Loud girl: I was like, “That’s totally unfair! You can’t pray that prayer! That’s the story of my life.”
–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Overheard by: Helen V.
Guy: If I send a guy over with a bag…how much money can you put in it?
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: tay-no
Carson Kressley, on cell: It was so worth being sober and well-behaved.
–elevator, Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: SJB
