Woman: Hey, so have you ever tried crack?
–78th & Madison
Overheard by: Andrew C
Woman: Hey, so have you ever tried crack?
–78th & Madison
Overheard by: Andrew C
Guy: Once I told my friend Ivan that I like to eat my scabs, and he said he did too, so we ate each other scabs.
–Park Slope
Ugly drunk girl: Sometimes I pick people's noses. (pause) Usually nothing comes out!
–LIRR, Huntington Line
Overheard by: I <3 Commuters Black guy on cell: Then I put KY all over her pussy, yo, and she wanted to spoon that shit up and eat it!
–Lafayette St
Man to family: Well, I've got to assume he's getting sick anyway, judging by the snot I just saw.
–Grand Central Station
Male law student: That's the good thing. You can scratch all day and it won't spread.
–Fordham Law School
20-something receptionist: Urp! I think I just coughed up a fetus. I better Lysol the phone.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: BrooklynBorn
Teen girl #1: Guess what? Savannah gave Zach a blow job!
Teen girl #2: Huh?
Teen girl #1: I don’t know what it is either, but that’s what people are saying.
–Tea Lounge, Park Slope
Overheard by: Charly
Girl: Independence Day? I don’t believe people are celebrating it this year, what with the war and everything!
Guy: Yeah…
Girl: I mean people want to celebrate like everything is fine, while we have the worst President ever in office fucking everything up!
Guy: I wouldn’t say that…
Girl: What? How can you say that? Name another President who has done more to fuck up this country?
Guy: Well, we will always have Jefferson Davis.
–Park Slope
Guy walking by himself: I wish everybody who is not mentally ill would just drop dead!
–9th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Rear Admiral Butts
Guy (admiringly, to attractive girl passing by): Damn, girl, I wish you were a guy!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Ditzy girl to another, about her boyfriend: He's teaching himself philosophy right now. He bought a philosophy dictionary. He can do that, you know, because he's so smart. I wish I could do that!
–Astoria
Overheard by: squarehand
Young guy to girl: Dude, I wish Dali was still around so he could do my album.
–Museum of Modern Art
Overheard by: Gino
Serious girl: I wish I had gotten the ovaries!
–Korean Baptist Church, Astoria
Overheard by: Evan
Young child: Mommy, how do black people have sex?
Mom: Ask your father.
–9th & 8th, Park Slope
Girl: My girlfriend used to date George Clooney and he would have her shave his balls all the time.
Drunk guy: Really? I shave down there, what do you think about that?
Girl: I kinda wanna stop talking to you now.
–Loki Lounge, Park Slope
Guy: Here’s to 5 inches or less!
Girl: …I really could take that the wrong way.
Guy: I’m talking about the storm!
–Whiskey River, 2nd Avenue
Chick #1: She got really upset with me for telling him that she got her wedding dress online.
Chick #2: Oh, I kind of understand that–
Chick #3, furiously: –What?! She can take his dick in her mouth, but she can’t tell him she got her wedding dress online?! She can put her face in his ass and not tell him she got her fucking dress online?!
–Pizza place near 5th Ave & DeGraw, Park Slope
Chick: Oh, come on. It wouldn’t be anti-Semitic if she told you to take your Stars of David off her Christmas tree.
Boyfriend, under his breath: Fucking shiksa.
–President St & 5th Ave, Park Slope
