Wednesday Too-Soon-Liners

American tourist on phone: So, I've just been to ground zero and it's like totally overrated; it's just a hole in the ground.

–Central park

Sensitive guy: She's probably the number one cause of post-traumatic stress syndrome since 9/11!

–Restaurant, 46th St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: TheGreenCat

Man, looking out window: Looks like they are building something.

–WTC Path Station

Tourist: That building is really tall, I think it's the World Crade Center!

–Brooklyn Bridge

Cheerful tourist dad taking photo of tourist family: Smile and say 9/11!

–Battery Park

Overheard by: CJW

Posted on August 26, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Battery Park, Brooklyn, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Families, Ground Zero, Guys, Height, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Pictures, Psychology, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Time, Tourism, Tourists, Train Station, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

She's the Happiest Place on Earth

Passerby, shouting to guy in Mickey Mouse costume getting picture taken with little girl: Yo! I fucked your girl! (to others) I really like Minnie.

–42nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: MsPrint

Posted on August 17, 2009
Disney, Guys, Infidelity, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pictures, Sex

…But Only to See His Avocados.

Party girl #1 looking at camera: Whoa… When did this happen?
Party girl #2: Oh, this was awesome. Guacamole make-out sessions. He was all like “I just wanna kiss you with all kinds of sloppy dips between our lips.”
Party girl #1: So you did? And you got a picture?
Party girl #2: Hell yeah!
Party girl #1: You are so going home with him tonight, aren't you?
Party girl #2: Hell yeah!

–Studio B, Banker St, Brooklyn

Posted on August 2, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Bimbettes, Brooklyn, Ethnic Food, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Pictures, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

If You Like This Quote, You'll Love Gaby Hoffmann and Christina Ricci in 200 Cigarettes

Drunk suburban girl: Come on! Let's go dance around in the fountain and take pictures of it! I love this city!
Begrudgingly sober suburban girl: Fuck this city. If we don't make the 12:37 back I'm going to drown you in that fountain.

–W 48th St

Posted on July 31, 2009
Dancing, Drunks, Girls, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Pictures, Threats

Something About the Three-Part Bun

Hipster guy: Then, she sent me all these naked pictures of herself.
Hipster chick: So what did you do?
Hipster guy: Went to McDonald's. Big Macs clear my head.

–87th & Lexington

Posted on July 4, 2009
Hipsters, Junk Food & Fast Food, Nudity, Pictures, Questions, Upper East Side, Weirdness

Wednesday and the World One-Liners With You, Cry and You Cry Alone

Girl, loudly and enthusiastically: Everything I say is a joke!

–City Bakery, 18th St

Girl to guy: What's so funny? Did you fart?

–W 96th & Broadway

Overheard by: Megan W.

Santa, chasing scared teen: Do you think it's funny to throw things at people's heads? How about I break your face?

–42nd St

Girl: I'm really excited that, like, within our lifetime, there are gonna be funny movies about Obama.

–Manhattan Theatre Source

Overheard by: Emily B.

Laughing girl on phone: Come on, please! Please! Just take off your clothes and take pictures! (pause) Come on, mom, it would be so funny!

–Union Square

20-something skater guy to another: And then I started whackin' off, and it was hilarious.

–Broadway & E 10th St

Overheard by: Timothy

Posted on July 1, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Farting & Burping, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Laughter, Masturbation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Nudity, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pictures, President, Punch, Questions, Skaters, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Theater, Threats, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners

Please Don't Feed the Wednesday One-Liners

Elderly woman to Bulldog: If you were human, you would be a male model.

–44th & 3rd

Female on phone, trying to be discrete: I could take a million pictures without makeup and I could make it on the cover of Vogue. I am telling you I just want a model agent to come up to me and say "you are gorgeous, I want you to model." I know I have what it takes!

–Outside Bobst Library

Overheard by: V Liebs

Scrawny short dude: You know, I like the model-type chicks.

–Bay Ridge

Overheard by: Jon A.

Battery Park city mom, about son: He's not even four and he can earn as much from one commercial as he can from a year of modeling.

–World Trade Centre Plaza

Girl walking around with a camera: People get so awkward when you're carrying around a camera. Come on people! Give me something I can use here! You are all models!

–44th & Lexington

Overheard by: apparently a model

Drawing professor: I'm not allowed to sleep with the models.

–Pratt Institute

Posted on July 1, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Brooklyn, College, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Girls, Ground Zero, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Library, Makeup, Man's Best Friend, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Pictures, School and studying, Sex, Street, Teachers/Professors, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

The Babushkas Are Just for Style

Teacher, looking at photo: Ahhh, was this taken in Russia?
Student: No, that's Coney Island.

–Stuyvesant High School

Posted on June 30, 2009
Global Geography, Pictures, Questions, Students, Stuyvesant, Teachers/Professors

Now Hug That Hobo and Smile!

Girl with camera to group of friends: No, get in front of the train tracks so I can take a picture!
Friend: We look like such tourists.
Girl with camera: No, I swear, if I lived here, I'd take pictures all the time.

–Lower East Side

Overheard by: Benny

Posted on June 27, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Lower East Side, Pictures, Tourism

Americans Prefer to Learn About Other Countries by Invading Them

Female yuppie, looking at cover of New York Times: Wow. Look at that picture!
Male yuppie: What is it?
Female yuppie: It's like, some Al Qaeda guy walking in the water with all his guns and stuff.
Male yuppie: Where is he?
Female yuppie: I don't know. Algeria?
Male yuppie: I didn't know there was water in Algeria.

–Crossroads Cafe, Brooklyn

Posted on June 23, 2009
Brooklyn, Global Geography, News, Pictures, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Terrorism, Weapons, Yuppies

Pictures