Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I waited an hour for you to show up! Were you on a coffee break or what?
Bus driver: Sir, that’s not possible, the lead bus was only ten minutes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the depot.
Guy: Screw you! You guys are the real terrorists! You’re what Homeland Security is trying to protect us against!
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island
Yuppie mom #1: Can you believe that there are people living in this city who make under two hundred thousand dollars?
Yuppie mom #2: Really?
Yuppie mom #1: Yes, I’d never do that. I wouldn’t want to live like a Huckleberry Finn.
The conversation then got too low for me to hear after they saw I was eavesdropping and giving them the evil eye.
–Riverside Park
Businessguy #1 If I were gay I would change my name to Paul.
Businessguy #2: Why Paul? I would go with something more Latin.
–A train
Overheard by: Cory Agid
Black man: “And he kept on beating up niggers until he was 37!”
— On the Subway
Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin.
–22nd & Park Ave South
Overheard by: Matt Law
Guido: I like my women a little more, shall we say, feminine.
Trannie: Yeah, I’ve got balls.
–LIRR, 6 AM
Overheard by: eileen
Guy: There’s a Bennigan’s here now?
Girl: Sure, New York’s getting everything: Bennigan’s, Outback, Applebee’s, Chevy’s.
Guy: Who knew the four horsemen of the apocalypse were chain restaurants?
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: Amanda
A woman has a chihuahua in her purse. An old man enters the train.
Old man: Cute dog. Do you take him everywhere?
Woman: Uh huh. We saw Spider-man yesterday.
Old man: You saw Spider-man yesterday?
Woman: Yeah.
Old man: How did you like it?
Woman: Oh, you know. It is what it is.
Old man: Not that great, huh? Ha, ha. Well, take care.
The man leaves the train. The woman looks down at her dog.
Woman: That was weird.
–V Train
Man: My friend asked me if they were shooting a movie, and I said,
“Yeah, it’s called Bombscare.”
–Astor Place
Guy: So a bunch of people are getting hurricane Katrina tattoos.
Girl #1: What would a hurricane tattoo even look like?
Girl #2: It would just be a swirl.
Girl #1: No babe, you’re thinking of a tornado.
–Stanton Social Club, Stanton Street
Overheard by: JDM & MZ
