Old black man: Do you know why my hands are so soft?
White girl: No… Why?
Old black man: Because I'm a pimp, and pimps always have soft hands.
–2 Train
Old black man: Do you know why my hands are so soft?
White girl: No… Why?
Old black man: Because I'm a pimp, and pimps always have soft hands.
–2 Train
Blonde chick to friend: So I ran into that guy and confronted him. I was like, "why didn't you say hi to me last Friday? I know you saw me, but you didn't say anything. Listen, if you're going to sleep with me Thursday night, you can't just not say hi to me on Friday. I know it's common for a lot of businessmen to sleep with prostitutes and then ignore them the next day when they see them on the street, but they pay them. If you're going to ignore me, fine… but I expect a check in the mail."
–Outside NYU Gramercy Green Residence Hall
Overheard by: Molalala
Girl to friend: Prostitutes don't have negative connotations.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: anonymous
Drunk 20-something male to two 20-something girls: Is it Jewish tradition to go to Amsterdam when you're 14 to get laid by a black prostitute?
–14th St & 2nd ave
Grad student to girlfriend: You know, it's funny. Before I met you, a skanky girl was just a skanky girl. Since we've been dating, when I see a skanky girl, I have to ask myself, "is she turning tricks?"
–Uris Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: Wonders how they met
Man to friend, about a woman hailing cab: Wow, she looks really expensive.
–18th & 7th
Hobo #1: I offered that squirrel five cents for sex.
Hobo #2: What's a squirrel going to do with a nickel?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Fogel
Disco-glam drag queen: It was! It was baby oil, and I knew it!
–Rubulad, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Katie
Black drag queen in kimono: I'm a corn pone Southern faggot, we do not do yoga.
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Ryan K
Hysterical Latina transvestite: My life is in my ass, mijo!
–2 Train
Overheard by: Jean
Drag queen hooker to older lady staring at her: You so wish you could wear a onesie like me.
–MTA
Dude #1: Paint stripper?
Dude #2: Prostitute stripper.
Dude #1: Ohhhhhhh.
–8th Ave & 52nd St
Overheard by: Chauncy
Teenybopper #1, giggling and running barefoot: We look like such crack whores!
Teenybopper #2: Yes, that's exactly the look I'm going for.
–Park Slope
White guy in suit to drunk Asian girl coming out of the subway: Will you come home with me?
Please?
Asian girl: What? Why?
White guy: I'm lonely and I want to sleep together.
Asian girl: I'm not a prostitute, you dick!
–Time Square
20-something guy #1: You don't go to see a bitch without a condom.
20-something guy #2: Depending on how well I know her, yeah I do.
–Queens
Overheard by: Tara
Cop to 7-Eleven employee: Man, I saw the hottest hooker last night!
–23rd St
White guy: People in Boston really like whoremongering, I guess.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Ladle
Man on cell: But I'm the best escort in the country!
–Chelsea
Man on cell: I used to pay for hookers.
–10th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: nomo
Man on phone: The Caribbean thing… No, not the prostitute.
–Fulton St
Thugette to boyfriend: You don't have to go to Vegas to get a hooker, honey, you can just go to Atlantic City.
–Staten Island Ferry
Student: What about sex?
Economics professor: What about it?
Student: Well, it's something that probably never has a diminishing marginal utility.
Economics professor: You wish. (class laughs) Plus, for most of us in this room, sex isn't usually a market transaction.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Danielle
