Chick #1: Oh my god, Ben is so hot. He was flirting with me hardcore the other night.
Chick #2: Um… Ben’s queer.
Chick #1: Ben’s not queer! He’s just from Delaware.
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: courtney c
Chick #1: Oh my god, Ben is so hot. He was flirting with me hardcore the other night.
Chick #2: Um… Ben’s queer.
Chick #1: Ben’s not queer! He’s just from Delaware.
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: courtney c
Hipster #1: You should spring that question on him one night and see what he says. I bet he’d be like, ‘What the fuck? Are you kidding me?’
Hipster #2: You mean ask him to stick his thing in my butt? Would he be down?
Hipster #1: I don’t think so. One time I was like, ‘Man, I need to fuck some girl in the ass pronto-tonto!’ He was like, ‘Dude, that’s gross!’
Hipster #2: I thought most dudes wanted to do that.
Hipster #1: Well, that was a while ago. He has been living in Thailand and those lady-boys have got to be pretty convincing.
Hipster #2: I’m sure.
Hipster #1: He could be ‘warmed-up’ to the occasion. Just get him shit-faced off his rocker.
Hipster #2: I don’t want to stick anything up my butt unless someone really wants it badly, and I certainly don’t want it to be messy — that shit can hurt if it’s not inserted properly.
–In front of Gagosian Gallery, Chelsea
Overheard by: Chelius
Chick complaining about looking for roommates: The problem with today is that everybody’s Jewish.
–Dobbin & Norman
Overheard by: Sam Tresler
Young quasi-gangster to friends: Even if you’re not Jewish, you’re, like… Jewish.
–Post-Yankees game on B train
Overheard by: Indiana
Tourist chick: How, how, how can there be no Jewish deli? All I want is a tongue sandwich and a fucking piece of pizza!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: X-tal
Lady suit: Are you saying you’d rather be with a Jewish person than a wife-beater?
–18th & 6th
Overheard by: emily
JAP: Shiksas are totally not allowed on Jdate!
–71st & Columbus
Overheard by: DebDan
Chick in stall to friend: It must be a Jewish thing, but whenever there’s food around I have to eat it — even if I’m not hungry.
–Restroom, Loews Cinema, 11th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Em
Queer: No, like, of course you’re not Jewish. I just wanted to check before I dissed the Jews.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: hilla
Hobo: Fuck you, you shits, you fucking assholes. I’m going to fucking kill you! Fuck you! Fuck you bitches! Fuck you and your mothers!
Queer #1: Oh no. No you did not just call me a bitch. You crazy homeless fuck.
Queer # 2: Mhm, get sassy on this bitch. Bitch deserves to be homeless. He should just shut his mouth and keep it movin’.
–Sheridan Square
Drunk queer #1: Hey, let’s get some food!
Drunk queer #2: I don’t have any money!
Drunk queer #1: That’s alright. Papi will pay…if you nibble his foreskin!
Drunk queer #2: Alright. Where do you wanna go?
–17th & 5th
Queer #1: You are so gay.
Queer #2: I am not gay! Why do people keep saying that?
Queer #1: Well, you made out with Robert, and you slept with Jimmy.
Queer #2: Robert kissed me, I didn’t kiss him.
–Greenpoint
Queer #1: Ann and Leslie are here.
Queer #2: Shit, are they lesbians?
Queer #1: Yeah.
Queer #2: Uh, I’m a D.C. gay. I don’t hang out with lesbians.
–3rd & B
Tween #1: You called me gay? I’ll sue you!
Tween #2: You’re gay for even saying that.
–Elizabeth & Mott
Overheard by: stephin’ out
Queer: When I get stoned, my grundle itches.
–6 train
Overheard by: sheerah
Street vendor, gesturing to enormous bong: No, no…this one is for tobacco.
–St. Mark’s
Elderly man: People are stupid! They don’t do pot!
–R train
Stoned guy: Man, why do chip manufacturers always put the crumbs at the bottom of the bag?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: bernard black
Teenage gangsta: Yo, when I was in the shower, it totally tasted like weed. For real.
–Lafayette & Houston
Passenger: If you see a suspicious package or activity on the platform or train, don’t keep it to yourself. Tell a cop or an MTA employee or me. There might be some money or some weed in there.
–4 train
Overheard by: Mike
Long-haired dude, picking up a cigarette butt: Man, that’s not what I wanted to smoke.
–72nd & Columbus
Overheard by: clarence rosario
Queer: Dude, I’m so horny, I’m thinking about considering Asians.
–Lil’ Frankies, 1st St
