Strange old man to girl : Would you ever wear your hair like that? (points to a girl with afro)
Girl: Um…no.
Man, getting off train: Good. Have a nice weekend.
Girl: You too.
Man: And don't wear your hear like that. Or your daddy might have to whip out his belt.
–E Train
Overheard by: Jessie
Hobo: Hey, where you from, man?
Tourist #1 (wearing fingerless gloves): England.
Hobo: I knew you ain't from round here, cos I ain't never seen gloves like that before
(hobo walks away)
Tourist #2: You should have told him they're really popular with tramps in England.
–105th & Broadway
Thug kid #1: What would you rather do, bite a cat’s head off or fuck Mrs. Kopf* in the ass?
Thug kid #2: What the fuck?
Thug kid #1: Pick one.
Thug kid #2: Fuck no!
Thug kid #1: If you don’t pick one they’re gonna let Mike Tyson fuck your mom in the ass.
Thug kid #2: Fuck you fag! You pick one!
Thug kid #1: Nah, I asked you first. I’ll pick after you pick
Thug kid #2: Cat.
–Jamaica Avenue, Queens
Overheard by: Nado
Drunk lesbian: Straight cheerleader bitches. I love it.
Girl next to her: Did you just call me a straight cheerleader bitch?
Drunk lesbian: I love you. Fuck you, cheerleader.
–Ani DiFranco Concert
Overheard by: alxie
Whiny old man: I hate the cold. I get so cold I hafta take a hot shower every night. How 'bout you?
Old woman: Well, Eddy, you're supposed to take showers all the time.
Whiny old man: How about that OJ Simpson?
–B3 Bus
Overheard by: Laura E.
Drag queen: With an accent like that, I know you drink.
German: No, really, I dun't!
Drag queen: But then how can I take advantage of you if you're sober?
–Lucky Cheng's
Blonde college student: Where is the start button?
Guy (pointing to computer CPU on floor and its start button): There you go, it's on there.
Blonde college student: That's so annoying that they put it all the way down there.
–City University of New York
Hipster guy: He wants to write a book about how hipsters are all about being nihilistic and getting lung cancer from oral sex.
–Hop Scotch, Ave A
Hipster guy to girl: It’s like, you can’t take my identity. I’m a film director, that’s who I am. It’s like if I was a carpenter, I would make wood. I mean, I would make buildings… You can’t just choose to be a carpenter.
–Pepe Rosso’s, Sullivan St
Asian hipster chick: You know, when you ask someone what they’re doing and they say clearing their head? I don’t think you can really do that because when you say you’re clearing your head you are really thinking about clearing your head so it isn’t clear after all.
–A Train
Overheard by: kate
Über-hipster chick to another: Bitch! Brunch tomorrow or I’ll fucking smack that headband right off you!
–8th & Bedford, Brooklyn
Hipster girl: What floor was fluffy on?! What floor was fluffy on?!?!??!
–Hookah Bar, East Village
Overheard by: Marisa
Hipster: It was a mess. I mean, you don’t want anarchists at the socialist barbecue. Haven’t you ever read Kropotkin?
–125th St
Overheard by: Ali
Receptionist: Hi, I'm calling from Bridgehampton, New York and would like to invite to a gallery event we are having in Southampton this weekend.
New York woman: Oh… is that in the Hamptons?
Receptionist: Why, yes, it is.
New York woman: Well… we don't go to that shithole anymore! (hangs up)
Receptionist: Thank you for you time.
–Publication Office
Professor: Apologies to everyone in advance, I seem to have the plague this week.
Student: Are you contagiously ill, or have you been on antibiotics for at least twenty-four hours?
Professor: No, not contagiously ill. It's nothing like H1N1 or anything, not that kind of plague. It's more of a the-crops-are-failing-and-women-are-giving-birth-to-stillborn-babies type of plague. Yeah.
–Fordham University Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Admiring Student
