Gay guy #1: I’m not sure how big he was…?
Gay guy #2: All I know is that when a guy is that big, the next day I have such bad flatulence and diarrhea, it’s ridiculous…
–A Train
Overheard by: brainygirl
Gay guy #1: I’m not sure how big he was…?
Gay guy #2: All I know is that when a guy is that big, the next day I have such bad flatulence and diarrhea, it’s ridiculous…
–A Train
Overheard by: brainygirl
Conspicuously buffed guy #1: Yeah, we could all be roommates!
Conspicuously buffed guy #2: Yeah!
Super hip woman, pushing expensive stroller: Yeah! (to baby in stroller) Can you say loft? Loft?
–W Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
College girl #1: For two people who've been together for so long, Jen and Mike really haven't done much in bed. She was so surprised to hear how far I went with Steve.
College girl #2: I thought they've had sex?
College girl #1: Yeah, but he's never seen her boobs!!
College girl #2: They had sex and he's never seen her boobs? Nate has seen my boobs–does that make me a whore?
College girl #1: Steve has seen my boobs too…
College girl #2: Who is more of a whore?
College girl #1: Me–definitely me.
College girl #2: I don't think so.
College girl #1: Let's have a competition.
College girl #2: I met him over the internet!
College girl #1: Oh yeah! You win.
–Union Square
Teen girl: She said money don’t grow on trees but yeah it do. Money made of paper, paper made from trees.
20-something-guy: Actually, US currency is printed on cotton.
Teen boy: Cotton?
20-something-guy: Yeah, they use denim, like jeans.
Teen girl: My jeans don’t be rippin like money, they using some low grade shit.
–Staten Island Mall Bus Stop
Overheard by: ryn
Girl: Did you bring me my brownie mix?
Guy: No; where’s that dude you were with the other night, anyway?
Girl: Who cares? He couldn’t deliver the steel.
–Prince & Elizabeth
Customer: How much are money orders here?
Teller: Well, I see that you are over the age of fifty so it’ll be free for you.
Customer: Ok, so can I have a money order for $260?
Teller: Ok, so do you want to pay that in cash or withdraw from your account?
Customer: Excuse me?
Teller: How do you want to provide the funds for the money order?
Customer: I thought you said it was free.
Teller: There is no fee for the money order but you still need to provide the funds for it.
Customer: Oh, well you should have made that clear.
Teller: Wow, I’m sorry.
–Commerce Bank, Jackson Heights
Overheard by: E
Customer: My MetroCard isn't working.
Booth agent: Is it expired?
Customer: No, it's good until the end of the year.
Booth agent, looking at card: You're right, let me check it. (swipes card) Oh, you can't use it today because you already used it tomorrow.
Customer, looking confused: Oh-kaaay…
Booth agent: I will buzz you through today, but see your office administrator about this.
–86th & Lexington
Hispanic construction man to hot girl passing by: Ay! Qué linda!
Hot girl: Who's Linda?
–33rd b/w 8th & 9th
Girl on cell: So yeah, I was like, ‘That is a great costume,’ and then it set her hair on fire and I was like, ‘That’s gross.’
–CVS, 42nd & 3rd
Crazy hobo: That’s right! Arrest me! I’ll burn half y’all houses down… And set the other half on fire!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overheard by: Incitatus
Pseudo-intellectual: She called me and told me there was a bonfire in her ovaries.
–MacDougal Street Ale House
Overheard by: Ladle
Creepster: Come here… You don’t wanna know what I’m on right now. If you come home with me, I will light you on fire.
–Columbus Ave
Concerned NYU girl to boyfriend about California wildfires: Do you think Cher’s house burned?!
–Water St dorm, NYU
Overheard by: michael
Patron: What do you suggest if I don't want red meat?
Luger's waiter: Another restaurant.
–Peter Luger's
Overheard by: glad I didn't ask for their tofu dish
