Swarthy clerk to pretty girl: Why do you wear that scarf like that?
Pretty girl: Because it's pretty.
Swarthy clerk, smiling: Won't be so pretty when someone strangles you with it.
–167th St
Swarthy clerk to pretty girl: Why do you wear that scarf like that?
Pretty girl: Because it's pretty.
Swarthy clerk, smiling: Won't be so pretty when someone strangles you with it.
–167th St
Boy: When I was little I used to think that if the planet got heavy enough, it would start to fall.
Friend: You must have been pretty smart to even think that when you were a little kid.
Boy: But what if I still think that?
Friends: Then you're a dumb ass.
–C Train
Overheard by: Rafael DaSilva
Girl #1: Did you hear Nicole has to be topless?
Girl #2: That's okay, I'm a nun!
–9th & Broadway
Italian father: Hey, son, look at this knee cap.
Son: Cool. What is that stuff?
Italian father: You see the part that looks like calamari? Well, that will give you trouble one day.
–Bodies Exhibition
Overheard by: hrln
Suit to security guard: Which elevator goes next door?
–1 Penn Plaza
Overheard by: Nora
Hot dog vendor: To go?
–Hot Dog Stand, 62nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Chrissy
Woman holding Dunkin Donuts mug to employee: Excuse me, can this mug hold cold drinks as well, or just hot ones?
–Dunkin Donuts, 76th & York
Woman: Crepe cafe? What do they do there? (comes closer) Ohhhh, they make crepes?
–Crepe Cafe Cart, W 50th St
Overheard by: Dianora
20-something girl to friend: What are we even walking for again?
–Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk, Central Park
Laughing, genuinely amazed Columbia underclassman: Isn't it, like, amazing, how we know what is food and what isn't food?
–W 114th Street b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Conductor: Next stop is…where am I?
–Uptown 1 Train
Guy #1: So, she was eventually diagnosed with Stockholm syndrome. No, not Stockholm syndrome… Munchausen by proxy.
Guy #2: Is that where you make your kid sick to get attention?
Guy #1: Yeah. I mean, who feeds their newborn feces? Who does that?
–21st St & 6th Ave
Elevator operator: What floor, please?
Old lady: Home, James.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Southern tourist in pink pants: I don’t see anybody else wearing pink pants around here!
–73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Girl on cell, wearing leggings and a t-shirt: Oh, shit, I forgot to put on pants again.
–Columbia University
Lady in corner stall: Damn, I done sweated through my pants!
–Restroom, 1 Liberty Plaza
Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: bih.
Thug: I’m the only playa in the hood with his pants on his waist!
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: Kayla K
Conductor over intercom: Attention, all crew members! Be sure you have your pants! Hey, Larry, you got yo’ pants?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Geologist
Middle Aged Woman: I’d like to get some hard salami, but I’d like to see it first.
Serious Deli Man: You would like to see my hard salami? [goes to get it and brings it out to show her]Woman: Is it very hard salami? How hard is the salami?
Serious Deli Man: Ma’am, I don’t think it is hard enough for you.
–Fairway Market
Overheard by: Jen
Suit #1: Who would win in a fight, a cheetah or a chimpanzee?
Suit #2: Definitely the cheetah.
Suit #1: But what if the chimpanzee kicked the cheetah in the balls?
–34th & Madison
