Girl #1, waving: Hey! There you are!
Girl #2: Hello! How are you?
Girl #1: Hi! So, how was jail?
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: brigdh
Girl #1, waving: Hey! There you are!
Girl #2: Hello! How are you?
Girl #1: Hi! So, how was jail?
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: brigdh
Woman, seconds after stadium chanted each Yankee name: Who's that playing third base?
Man: What? Were you not paying attention during roll call?
–Yankee Stadium
Random hipster: If David Bowie had wheels, how much would you pay to ride on him?
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: haxromana
Scrawny hipster dude to another: All I'm saying is: I want to be in a position where I'm not liking it, and I know he's not liking it either.
–Troutman & Evergreen
Overheard by: Kristen
Hipster: I was much more desperate in Chicago.
–6 Train
Hipster kid: I'm just afraid that my sweatshirt isn't edgy enough.
–SoundFix Records, Brooklyn
Overheard by: chelce
Teenager: He's having a hard time dealing with being a hipster.
–Columbus Circle
Guy: You remember those Lycra bicycle shorts?
Friend: No.
Guy: … From the mid 90s?
Friend: No.
Guy: Well they were really tight.
Friend: Ok.
Guy: I used to wear them when I was younger and be really embarrassed when I got erections in them.
Friend: I used to jerk off with my dad’s dirty magazines. I would wrap them around my dick.
–Churchill’s
Overheard by: Veggie2001
Film professor: What kind of movie causes a bodily reaction?
Student:… Pornography?
Film professor: And what does pornography cause your body to produce?
Student, after long pause: Bodily… fluids?
Film professor: Otherwise known as… Cum!
–Columbia Universtiy
Student to another: Marcus, did I blow that tree?
Marcus: What?
–Pratt Institute
Roommate #1, from kitchen: Hey, have you seen my pot?
Roommate #2: Wait… The one you cook with?
Roommate #1: Yeah.
Roommate #2: Oh! Uh, no.
–Pratt Institute
Headline by: usual suspect
Runners-Up:
· “Awkward Moments Like This Are Why Chamber Pots Went Out Of Fashion” – allison
· “Guess I’m Using the Water Bong to Make Noodles Then…” – Zuel Beast
· “LIES! You Know You Meant BOTH!” – Whee!
· “The Meth Lab Was Never As Well Organized As the Living Room” – batou187
· “Wait, Did It Have Doritos in It?” – Jay Walke
· “Wait, the One You Put the Brownies In, or the One You Put in the Brownies?” – j3rry
Woman: One time this guy punched me…but it was alright, cause I was on coke.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Laura Grossman
Female hipster on cell: I'm coked up and all alone, Harvey, how do you expect me to feel?
–Humboldt & Ainslie, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Joseph Hernandez
Girl on cell: I haven't done coke in like a week. It's been a rough week.
–Upper East Side
Hot 20-something tourist girl to friend: Pfft, the Meatpacking District. That's false advertising…I got no meat packed in me last night. All I did was steal that bag of cocaine from those guys.
–Broadway & Wooster
Overheard by: ClassyGal
Female 20-something on phone: Yeah, he realized it was too late when he couldn't tell the difference between the piles of sugar, the piles of flour, and the piles of cocaine.
–Central Park
Thug to friend: That bitch looked up at me and said, "Damn, your dick tastes like coffee."
–86th St & Lexington
Overheard by: TINA
Female suit to other: Duane Reade is like the Starbucks of drugstores!
–Duane Reade
Old lady with shopping cart, exiting voting booth: Where's my Starbucks coupon?
–PS163, Bath Beach, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Torgo61
Guy on cell: Hey, bro! I'm having coffee and a bagel. (pause) No, an animal did not have to die for me to have this coffee!
–Arthur Avenue
Overheard by: eternal student
Man with heavy Indian accent holding a cup of Starbucks coffee: No, the most expensive coffee in the world is coffee beans eaten and then pooped out by a cat. It's $120 a cup.
–Elevator, 7th Ave & 31st St
Girl: How was your date last night?
Guy: He had a sick body but an ugly face. I slept with him anyway.
–84th St & 2nd Ave
