Hooker: Hey, is that new guy black or white?
Intern: He’s albino.
Hooker: So, are people from Albania black or white?
–14th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: The Albino
Hooker: Hey, is that new guy black or white?
Intern: He’s albino.
Hooker: So, are people from Albania black or white?
–14th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: The Albino
White teen girl #1: Oh my god, he is, like, so caliente! Haha, I just said that like the biggest white girl!
White teen girl #2, sarcastically: What, you say that like you’re not proud of being a white girl!
White teen girl #1: Haha… Well, I’m not actually white. My nationality is European, which is actually much better than white.
White teen girl #2: Yeah, totally.
–Q101 bus, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Girlfriend: Is that a caravan outside Deutsche Bank?
Boyfriend: Pikeys.
–Wall & William
Black guy #1: So what do you think of my hood, yo?
Black guy #2: You livin' white, baby!
–SoHo
Overheard by: basquiat
Hobo: Hey, can you guys spare some money?
Chick: No, sorry.
Hobo: That is a white lie from some white people!
–Mott & Spring
Male African-American bicycle-taxi driver: You see all these white people here? All these white people is from Europe! You know that story?
Female African-American park guard: No…
Male African-American bicycle-taxi driver: Yeah!
–Central Park
Overheard by: white New Yorker
Cop on megaphone: Hand over your license and your registration. Now everyone in the Heights knows what I am waiting for.
–138th St & Amsterdam Ave.
Overheard by: tony l.
Hobo: I’m just black. I’m not a criminal.
–Outside MSG
Overheard by: Barry P.
Female cop, screaming out the window of her police car: Stop yelling on the street!
–Greenwich Ave & W 13th St
Overheard by: Pierce
White teen boy: You see, you can only mess with white people and Asian people because the worst thing they’ll do is call the cops. Anybody else–no one will ever hear from you again.
–1 train, southbound
Overheard by: Stephanie Shestakow
Hobo: Stand clear of the closing doors. You cannot block the doors. Keep your belongings with you at all times. If you see a suspicious package or activity, tell a police officer or MTA employee or me. My wife died and I want you to know that I’m single. I may not have any money, but I got plenty of honey. I want all the ladies to know that I’m single. Not the men, though. I’m not gay. I’m a lesbian. I like women.
–Downtown 5 train
Cop car, driving in bike lane, on loudspeaker: Move right. Move right! Your other right, idiot!
–8th Ave & 28th St
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Thug: I hate white people. They’re always talking to the cops.
–1st Ave & 89thSt
Worried suit: Oh, good. I was hoping you would call. Uh yes…I’ve had bloody stool twice in the past two weeks… Yes, the blood is around it…I don’t know. What do you advise?
–McGraw-Hill Building, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: HELP! I’m in the cube across from him
Woman to male companion: I don’t give a shit about no fucking white people, they can suck my bloody pussy. My shit is all bloody and nasty, but I changed my drawers and shit. At least I don’t just rinse it out and hang it in front of a fan…
–G Train
One-eyed Armenian worker, pointing to sample bottle of Vampire wine: Would you like a taste of this wine? It’s half blood, but only the blood of pretty girls, I only drink pretty girls.
–Liquor Store, 10th St & 2nd Ave
MTA cop to blood drive employee: You want blood? I’ll give you blood. Just not from my arm, if you know what I mean.
–Penn Station
Bro: If it looks like blood, it coagulates like blood.
–6 Train
Girl on cell: How was Vicky’s sweet 16? [couple of seconds later] Was the blood from your nose or your ass?
–36th St & Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: Cody
Guy: I was reading about how, this week in history, women obtained the right to vote and the “I have a dream” speech was delivered. I was thinking that a black lesbian would have to be the most disadvantaged in history.
Friend: Yeah…or even a black, woman lesbian!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Thomas
Black chick reading newspaper: Niggaz always be tryin' to govern from the center, son.
Boyfriend: Yo babe, but you knew Barack was always about incremental policy amelioration.
–B Train
Overheard by: Mark
