Wednesday One-Liners Won't Eat in a Restaurant Called “Ma's”

Nine-year-old boy to mother, forlornly: In five days, it will be two weeks since we last ate in a restaurant.

–75th & Amsterdam

Jewish girl with heavy New York accent: So when we went to the South we ate at a waffle house, aka the most amazing experience ever! Everyone there was missing at least two teeth!

–Baruch College

Overheard by: kteezy

Man on cell: What the fuck was in that Chipotle last night?

–Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: Steve

Preppy teenage boy to friend: Dude, so then I took her to Applebee's. She thought it was so romantic–like "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" status.

–Hunter

Overheard by: Hakuna Matata

Posted on October 21, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, College, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Ethnic Food, Food, Friends, Hunter, Jews, Kids, Love, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Preppies, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Singing, Street, Teens, Time, Travel, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners

Budweiser's New Ad Campaign Is Edgier Than Ever

Asian girl #1: Ew, I don't like the taste of beer.
Asian girl #2: Yeah, but if you don't drink beer and get used to the taste, people will date-rape you.

–Q Train

Overheard by: quesito

Posted on October 19, 2009
Asians, Dating, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, On the Subway, Rape, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

Wanna Split It?

Preppy girl #1: I'm feeling sorta…
Preppy girl #2: Peckish?
Preppy girl #1: Like starvation-ish.
Preppy girl #2: Uh, I've got a mint.

–Liquor Store, Prospect Heights

Overheard by: lola w.

Posted on October 16, 2009
Brooklyn, Food, Offers and requests, Preppies, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Store

Be Proud– Smelling Worse Than the Subway Is an Accomplishment

Girl #1: Um, do I smell bad? Nobody has sat next to me in a while and this train has been overcrowded for the past ten blocks.
Girl #2: Yeah… you kind of do, actually.

–Q Train

Posted on October 13, 2009
Girls, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences

Starbucks Blended Drinks Finally Jump the Shark.

Teen guy: It smells like diarrhea.
Teen girl: Yeah, after someone fucked it.
Teen guy: It smells all sugary and sweet.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jennie

Posted on October 11, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Illness, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Teens, Times Square, Weirdness

I'm Going Girlier This Season

Tween girl #1: So yeah, then we played chicken at the skate park.
Tween girl #2: That sounds really painful.
Tween girl #1: You know, it really was!

–Central Park Zoo

Overheard by: Wincingprep

Posted on October 10, 2009
Birds, Central Park, Girls, Parks, Sensory Experiences, Tweens

Who's Gonna Hold Wednesday's Hair While She One-Liners?

Self-tanned woman on BlackBerry, pushing stroller: I'm gonna puke because you're not here with me!

–American Eagle

Overheard by: liveyourlife

Cheerful woman on cell: Oh yeah, I been getting mad nauseous on this bus! But I ain't putting my face near that toilet back there, nuh-uh. I'd rather get sick all over myself.

–Chinatown Bus to DC

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Guy waiting for n train: I just want to fucking go home and puke in my own fucking toilet!

–Canal St & Broadway

Woman: I come out of the bathroom after three hours of him barfing, and people think we were having sex! You think I'm that hot at 46 to go shag my boy in the middle of a party? And even if I were, I would have been gone for, what? Like, ten minutes? Max!

–Time Warner Building

Girl to friends: I definitely think gay vomit would be the prettiest.

–Perry & Bleecker

Overheard by: other contenders?

Posted on October 7, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Body Parts, Bus, Celebrations/Parties, Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Home, Sweet Home, Hook Ups, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Public Transportation, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Store, Street, The Village, Time, Vomit, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

As in the Garden Of Eden, the Snakes Have All the Lines

Girl #1: Your Ss are perfect. It's the pure “ssss” sound.
Girl #2: What? Like “sssss”?
Girl #1: Ssssss. Yeah.
Girl #2: Sssssss.

–Taxi Stand

Overheard by: chickinparis

Posted on October 1, 2009
Compliments, Girls, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Street

She's on the WTC Rebuilding Committee

White man: That hot chocolate slowed my cognitive functioning.
Black woman: Better slow than fast minute-man honky.

–Webster Hall

Overheard by: chinese new year

Posted on September 21, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Horny, Men, Race, Sensory Experiences, Union Square and East Village, White People, Women

It's a Vicious Cycle.

Ghetto girl #1: I just stepped on a piece of dogshit on my way to work. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?
Ghetto girl #2: Spray some perfume on your shoes.
Ghetto girl #1: I already tried that, and Britney's new perfume ain't strong enough!
Ghetto girl #2: Well, then rub it in shit again!

–Broadway b/w Maiden Lane & Liberty

Posted on September 19, 2009
About Celebrities, Advice, Ghetto Chicks, Man's Best Friend, Poop, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Shoes, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Sensory Experiences