Wannabe hipster #1: Oh my god, I feel, like, soooo sexy. And he thinks so too. I haven't showered in like, two days.
Wannabe hipster #2: Oh my god, like, that's sooooo sexy.
Wannabe hipster #1: I am sooooo sexy…
–57th & 10th
Wannabe hipster #1: Oh my god, I feel, like, soooo sexy. And he thinks so too. I haven't showered in like, two days.
Wannabe hipster #2: Oh my god, like, that's sooooo sexy.
Wannabe hipster #1: I am sooooo sexy…
–57th & 10th
50-something actress: I'm one of the founding sluts.
–Chelsea Studios
Overheard by: Joshy Sweetpants
Guy on cell: That's what I said: I fucked him, but I'm not attracted to him.
–81st & Columbus
Overheard by: Flooey
Adorable seven-year-old kid on bike: She liked it. Ashley liked it. Ashley's a whore.
–Havemeyer & 2nd, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Nathalie & Noah
Girl on cell: Well, I'm in a different place now. Now I'm a slut.
–W 4th & 6th Ave
Teenage girl on cell, beaming, as if she just had a revelation: Oh, I forgot you're a whore! (yelling triumphantly) You're a whore!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Emilia
Teen boy #1: I don't like any of her family except her mom. She's okay.
Teen boy #2: Her mom is crazy, yo. I want to rape her with this umbrella. I bet you if I fucked her, she wouldn't even remember, she's so crazy. Wouldn't it be cool if there were a hot chick, like 21, with Alzheimer's and you fucked the shit out of her and then the next day she couldn't remember?
–Q44 Bus
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Guy #1: Have you ever slept with my wife?
Guy #2: [laughs]
–19th & 5th
Overheard by: X
Thug #1: So they was like, “Yo, you fucked that bitch without a condom!” And I was like, “Naw.” And they was like, “She pregnant, yo.”
Thug #2: Aw, shit!
Thug #1: When I heard that, I was cryin’. Like, straight-up tears, I was cryin’.
Thug #2: Damn…
Thug #1: I can’t even tell you what I did to get that bitch unpregnant. I’ll say this much: it involved chloroform.
–6 train
Girl #1: So I got that, like, Wal-stat stuff. Whatever the generic brand of Monistat is.
Girl #2: Dude, don’t skimp when it comes to your vagina. That’s an area where you really want quality.
Girl #1: Says the girl who slept with John!
–1020 Bar, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: djlindee
Hipster Pee-wee Herman lookalike to friend: Oh, and when I give her anilingus to let me direct a show? You're totally gonna be in it!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Flea
Man: I believe some of this will be made up.
–Going into Wicked, Broadway
Overheard by: CAM
Black highschool girl: Oh my god, why do they keep singing?
—In the Heights, Broadway Musical
Overheard by: Cookie
Woman in Jersey accent: Is this the one about the boy who wants to be a horse or the girl who wants to be a fish?
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: HarlemRy
Daniel Radcliffe fan girl: I have to be in this show some day. Even if I'm eighty, I gotta be in this show with him. I'd be like, "put it in me! Put it in me!"
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: Nikki
Man leaving Hair: Well, that beats the hell outta Shakespeare!
–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Man: Hey! It’s so great to run into you! I haven’t heard from you in so long!
Woman: Yeah, that’s because you didn’t call me after we slept together.
–50th between 5th & 6th
High school boy #1: Man, those lesbians are everywhere!
High school boy #2: Yeah!
High school boy #1: Yeah, man! I used to think that shit was cool, but then I was like, “Shit! I ain't gettin' any of that!”
High school boy #2: Yeah!
–Downtown 4 Train
Overheard by: klo
Teen girl #1: Wait, so you just let him do you in the butt? You let him sodomize you?
Teen girl #2: It wasn’t bad. I couldn’t shit for a few days, though. So I took some laxatives, then I shit myself in the mall yesterday.
–Liberty Island
Overheard by: binja
