Exec #1: So, uh, she’s a squirter.
Exec #2: What?!
Exec #1: Yeah. I really haven’t had any experience with that before.
Exec #2: Details.
Exec #1: Just…everywhere.
–Bed, Bath & Beyond, 19th & 6th
Overheard by: Mr. Waiting in Line
Exec #1: So, uh, she’s a squirter.
Exec #2: What?!
Exec #1: Yeah. I really haven’t had any experience with that before.
Exec #2: Details.
Exec #1: Just…everywhere.
–Bed, Bath & Beyond, 19th & 6th
Overheard by: Mr. Waiting in Line
Man: I could die for a cracker.
Woman: You're really serious about that Atkins diet, huh?
Man: The closest thing I get to carbs these days is doggy style sex with you.
–5th St & Broadway
Shabby-looking vegan woman: Vegans have much better sex!
Black man in suit, looking her up and down: I'd rather have a hamburger.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Can't Beat the Meat
Guy #1: What you got going this summer?
Guy #2: I got like 3 jobs.
Guy #1: That’s crazy. Work’s cool and everything, but that don’t leave no pussy time. And I’ve got to be fucking some bitch.
–Lehman College bookstore
Teen boy #1: I make the best scrambled eggs!
Teen boy #2: Nah son, I make the best eggs.
Teen boy #1: Ok, but when you eat my eggs… mmm… it’s like eating pussy.
Teen boy #2: Whoa! You crossed the line there.
–97th & Central Park W
Overheard by: SEK
Guy on cell: Of course I hate her! However, that’s not gonna stop me from fucking her.
–Park Slope
Girl: Your mouth is warm. Lick my face.
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: Sara R.
Man on cell: I don’t see what the big deal was. It was only a blowjob.
–Greene Street between Spring & Prince
Little girl on dad’s shoulders: Hmmm. Beer. I’m not really a fan of that anymore.
–Outside MSG
Overheard by: eric p
Guy on cell: Dude, I’m sayin’, it’s like every single time we have sex she is drunk! Sooo drunk… [Sighs.]
–Canal St
20-something chick on cell: Well, they do say alcohol solves problems…
–Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Chris
NJ transit conductor: We are now approaching New York Penn Station. If you are traveling with any small children, the elderly, or drunk people, please escort them off of the train — maybe by the hand — because there is a wide gap between the train and the platform.
–Penn Station
Mom to wobbling little girl: Are you a drunken sailor? Drunken sailor, yay!
–Liberty St & South End Ave
Overheard by: julia
British girl to two friends: … And I knew he was drunk that night because he fell over.
–R train from Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mark
16-year-old girl on cell: So like, for Halloween my mom told me about this strip club we could go to…
–110th & Central Park West
Overheard by: sophie Balis-Harris
Drunk stumbling Yankee meathead to fellow meatheads: Yo! Let's get some fucking strippers! I don't give a fuck about my girlfriend! (pauses and looks around) If I drop any more beer on this woman… (spills half his cup on her back) Ah, fuck.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: seat 12 section 23
20-something woman on cell: What, you had sex with that stripper?!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Liz
Drunk suit: Yeah…we did it up fo' my son's 18th birfday. He be graduatin and all this year, so we sprung fo' a stripper.
–Q67 Bus
Overheard by: Kate
Teen screaming into cell: Stripper. (pause) No, stripper!
–Little Italy
Dude: She sure had a wide ass.
Fat guy: Yeah, but I’d fuck her ’til the rest of her teeth are gone.
Dude: Yeah.
–1 train
Gay guy with fohawk: I was so drunk I had to leave. I was so afraid something was going to happen and I was going to wake up and be like, “shit! I fucked a girl!”
Girl: Damn!
–FIT
