Random guy to two girls: Hey, are you from NYU?
Girl: Yeah.
Random guy: Murderers!
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Random guy to two girls: Hey, are you from NYU?
Girl: Yeah.
Random guy: Murderers!
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Angry drunk girl to Guido friend she's dragging along: Hey, it's Laura*! (yelling) Hey you, Laura, you fucking slut! I heard you fucked Tommy*! You fucked my boyfriend, you fucking whore!
Laura: Hey, fuck you! I'll fuck whoever I want to fuck.
Angry drunk girl: You fucking slut! I can't fucking believe you!
Laura: Pipe down. His dick is tiny. Get a man with a real package, then I'll fuck him, and then you can complain.
Angry drunk girl: You whore!
Passerby: God, I love me some Bridge and Tunnel on a Saturday night.
Angry drunk girl: Did he just call us “Bridge and Tunnel”?! That dick!
–86th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Actually, it's WHOMever: you'll fuck WHOMever you want to fuck.
Tourist woman to husband: Is it all vegetarian?
Guy waiting in doorway: Uh… Yeah.
Tourist woman: Oh. That makes sense.
–Outside Vegeterian Dim Sum, Chinatown
Overheard by: Brok
Loud guy running out of building: I'm so mad I could do stuff! I'm so pissed I'm going to do some stuff to him! Aughhhh! I'm gonna do some stuff!
Passerby: Don't make him mad, he's crazy. He'll do… stuff.
–NYU Building, Washington Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Loud lady handing out pamphlets: Jesus is coming again!
Heckler: He didn't even come the first time! Humanity gave him the blue balls!
–Atlantic Ave Station
Fat black chick to random guy, rubbing and grabbing crotch: Mmm, come here baby, I washed it for ya.
Random guy: No, I don't want any of that.
–Penn Station
Haggard man wearing NY sweatshirt: Is this New York City?
Bunch of bros: Yeah, it is!
Haggard man wearing NY sweatshirt: This ain't New York City anymore, man. You shoulda been here forty years ago!
–Union Square
Overheard by: jvdubs
Little boy to father, watching NYPD officers standing outside on horseback: Shit, yo! The cops is here!
–W 42nd St
Overheard by: Nikki
Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrians: We have sidewalks in New York. Try using them!
–Chinatown
NYC cop to pushy tourist: Don't touch me, I have no answers for you.
–Columbus Circle
Man to cop: When are you gonna learn that, man? People suck!
–Grand Central Station
Cop on horseback to pedestrian horse admirer: Don't get any closer to the horse, unless you want rabies.
–3rd St & Thompson
Overheard by: Heather
Automated conductor: This is 30th Avenue. The next stop is Astoria Boulevard.
Guy exiting train: More like Astoria bore-levard.
(stranger nearby snickers)
Guy: Am I right? C'mon lady, I just changed your life with that statement.
–N Train
White male to group of friends: I thought she was really into me… Then I turned around and she was kissing Mary.
–Pace University
Girl to boyfriend kissing her hand: Are you kissing my hand or wiping your nose?
–Central Park
Young boy to friend: Wow, lesbians kissing! I've only seen that on the internet!
–Grand Central Station
Black man to two men and two women making out indiscriminately: I thought all y'alls was gay, but now y'alls kissin' each other. I don't know what to think.
–Splash Bar
