NYU chick #1: Vegan shit is like baby shit, y’know?
NYU chick #2: I know!
–Waverly Pl
Overheard by: Lou Morning
NYU chick #1: Vegan shit is like baby shit, y’know?
NYU chick #2: I know!
–Waverly Pl
Overheard by: Lou Morning
Teen in sideways cap: I touched it, but I didn't like it.
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Student: Dude, I think I'm dyslexic with stairs.
–Stuyvesant High School
Teen, seriously: No… Webkinz are definitely a lot more high-maintenance then neopets.
–Downtown 6 Train
Teenage boy: I want to be a Senator or something like that. Like, the Government is the best place to have sex.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Punk teen to friends: Even though it seemed like she was into things, now she's not into anything.
–Union Square
Overheard by: i don't like stuff either
College guy #1: I've been working hard to lose weight this year.
College guy #2: I can certainly see the change in your face.
College guy #1: Yeah, I've been crapping a lot lately.
(college guy #2 is silent)
College guy #1: I mean I've been dumping a whole lot.
College guy #2: Okay, that's enough.
–Gym, Columbia University
NYU dude #1: What sources did you use for the final?
NYU dude #2: Urbandictionary.com.
NYU dude #1: Awesome.
–Washington Square South
Overheard by: Lezbotron
60-year-old man on cell: I want you to do a big fave for me, okay? Call my aunt's house. If my aunt picks up, hang up.
–B4 Bus
Overheard by: Victoria Tarasova
Dude on cell: No, it's okay, my cellphone is attached to my hand. It's part of my hand!
–Restaurant Bathroom, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
NYU guy on cell, snottily: No wait, wait… Is it full because you keep leaving them for me and I never bother to listen? (pause) Voicemail is a dead technology, dad.
–Bus
Overheard by: liz
Woman on crutches: People think I'm talking on one of those Bluetooth-headphone-cell phones. Nah. I'm just talking to myself. Pfft! I ain't got no cell phone! I just talk to myself! That's right!
–Food Stamp Office, 14th St
Overheard by: Erica Schreiner
African American man on cell: I gotta go. I got Richard Simmons on the other line.
–30th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: mike v
Question girl: Well, if the sky is only blue when the sun is shining on it, then how come the Earth looks blue when they take pictures from the Moon?
Professor: Well, that's probably because of all the water.
–Borough of Manhattan Community College
Professor: Wisdom goes: if you are looking to get married, and you can either choose a nine who is broke or a seven with a lot of money, you choose the…?
Students, without missing a beat: Seven!
–Hunter College
Student: I tried to write my Spanish essay but I don’t know how to say “bitch” in Spanish.
Professor: You live in New York and you don’t even know that?
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Guy
Young man: You're fat because you need to release. Look at me, that's why I'm slim and sexy. I beat off every day.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Salesgirl to salesgirl friend: I wanna thank you for taking the time to repeatedly hit me in my arm fat and make it jiggle.
–Henri Bendel
Overheard by: Stephan Dion
Professor to class of girls: You guys are all thin (looks around classroom and notices there are some fat girls) …mostly.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Suit to another: All I'm trying to say is, she's not tall enough for her weight.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: ednapontellier
Black girl: Fat people can do splits because they have no bones.
–Pizza Place, St. Mark's Place
Five-year-old to very overweight man while waiting for Thanksgiving Day parade: Are you one of the balloons?
–Broadway & 50th St
Overheard by: Peter
Flustered queer student: I’m working for the next four days. I’m just glad I have a steady job now.
Hungover queer student: Yeah. I called about my job today, so hopefully I’ll be working tomorrow.
Flustered queer student: I’m so glad we’re both working now, because we need to be blowing more cocaine.
–12th & 5th
