Fordham freshman girl to others: So how far is it from Fordham road to Bloomingdale's?
Black passer-by: Vanilla, vanilla, vanilla! I love white girls!
Fordham freshman girl: Let's take a cab.
–Fordham Road
Fordham freshman girl to others: So how far is it from Fordham road to Bloomingdale's?
Black passer-by: Vanilla, vanilla, vanilla! I love white girls!
Fordham freshman girl: Let's take a cab.
–Fordham Road
Sixth grader: Wait, I don’t understand. When you have oral sex you don’t take off your clothes, so how can you get AIDS?
Student teacher: Ummm…
–University Neighborhood Middle School
Overheard by: face
NYU girl #1: Guess what? I’m going to Truman Capote’s house tomorrow!
NYU girl #2: Wow!
NYU girl #1: Yeah.
NYU girl #2: To meet him?
NYU girl #1: Oh, no. He’s, like, totally dead.
–Jane St, near W 4th St
College freshman: I think I’m going to minor in Accounting. Does that sound good?
Friend: Well, do you like stuff like that?
College freshman: Wait… What is Accounting?
Friend: It’s, like, spreadsheets.
College freshman: Oh, cool.
–PATH
Chick #1: We should go to class baked!
Chick #2: That would be a terrible idea.
Chick #1: Okay, we should go drunk, then.
Chick #2: That’s a good idea.
–Ladies’ room, NYU Law
Student #1: How long have you been here?
Student #2: I live here for four years.
Student #1: Your English is perfect! What is your native language?
Student #2: I speak Thai. Your English is fine, too. You are from Trinadad, right? What is your native language?
Student #1: English.
–FIT library
NYU student #1: Hey, who made Donatello’s David?
NYU student #2: Wasn’t it Michelangelo?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: B McSea
Fashionista to another: It didn’t taste that good, but I really needed the money.
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: John Galt Jr.
Fashion student: The thing I can’t stand about fine arts is how obsessed with money it’s become… Yeah, so I’m leaving the program to study advertising.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: nova scotia
Security guard to another: I ain’t here for the money. I’m here for the fuckin’ prestige.
–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Amber Star
White chick on cell: Hi, honey! How are you? Are you being tickled by coins? Are you being tickled by coins?!
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: mela
Guy on corner: Can you spare any change or frequent flyer miles?
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Scientific
Frumpy lady to Joey Ramone lookalike: I’m feeling awfully constipated, baby! Constipated with money is the way I like to be!
–3rd Ave, Bay Ridge
Half-asleep hobo, in garbled voice: Can ya help me out, man…?
Passing student #1: What did he say?
Passing student #2: I dunno. If you're gonna beg you should at least enunciate!
–7th St & Ave B
Hipster Pee-wee Herman lookalike to friend: Oh, and when I give her anilingus to let me direct a show? You're totally gonna be in it!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Flea
Man: I believe some of this will be made up.
–Going into Wicked, Broadway
Overheard by: CAM
Black highschool girl: Oh my god, why do they keep singing?
—In the Heights, Broadway Musical
Overheard by: Cookie
Woman in Jersey accent: Is this the one about the boy who wants to be a horse or the girl who wants to be a fish?
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: HarlemRy
Daniel Radcliffe fan girl: I have to be in this show some day. Even if I'm eighty, I gotta be in this show with him. I'd be like, "put it in me! Put it in me!"
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: Nikki
Man leaving Hair: Well, that beats the hell outta Shakespeare!
–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
