Professor: Not only will I take off points, but I will go and TP your house.
Student: It's a really long drive…
Professor: It's worth it to me.
–NYU
Overheard by: Spazz
Professor: Not only will I take off points, but I will go and TP your house.
Student: It's a really long drive…
Professor: It's worth it to me.
–NYU
Overheard by: Spazz
Middle aged man: So all you gotta do is pick up a gray squirrel holding an acorn, squeeze his belly, and hear him make real squirrel chatter.
–92nd & Lexington
Latina girl on cell: Chill the fuck out! Groundhog Day isn't till like June or some shit!
–PETCO, Union Square
Overheard by: Max
Girl: I tried a lot of things before I started kicking small animals.
–15th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rijita
20-something guy to another: They cost a lot but they live forever. If you get a group of like 20 elephants, you're invincible.
–1 Train
Female student: But how else would you transport the elephant?
–34th St b/w Park & Madison Ave
Eight-year-old boy, running hellbent through playground, to friend: I could tell you about Archelon, the largest evolved turtle, but there isn't time.
–Riverdale
Overheard by: Someone else's mom
Guy on cell: It was kind of like sexually penetrating cows…
–E 55th St
Overheard by: TiffanyLyn
Barista: Basically someone bought a coffee Friday, came back Monday and said it's cold. Um, yeah. It's three days later.
–Starbucks, Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Woman, walking out of Starbucks empty-handed: Well, at least now we know where we can get coffee. You know, in the morning?
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: David Landfair
NYU student to coffee cart man: Can I get a venti-large coffee?
–Greene St & Washington Place, The Village
Overheard by: Jane
Male coworker: I was just going to turn water into coffee, like they do in the bible.
–Broadway
Hyper five-year-old to mom: Hey look, Starbucks. Let's go to Starbucks. Starbucks! Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Juxie
Mother to hysterical baby in stroller: What do you want, huh? Coffee and a cigarette?
–Outside Bloomingdale's
Overheard by: kteezy
Hasidic Jew: Excuse me, are you Jewish?
20-something film student: Why, you lookin' to party?
–Washington Square Park
Law student #1: Are you applying for the TA position?
Law student #2: No.
Law student #1: Why not?
Law student #2: I'm not interested in helping people.
–Fordham Law School
Professor, discussing Song of Songs: We can't get around the fact that he's basically saying, “you're my horse.”
Student: And I'm gonna ride you.
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Colleen
Economics teacher: I want you to understand elasticity!
Student: LSD?
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Male Fordham student: I think I witnessed a girl getting bad news about either being pregnant or getting STDs!
Female Fordham student: How do you know?!
Male Fordham student: Because she was on the phone and I heard her say “wait, that's not possible, how could the results come back as that?”
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Student, reading incorrectly from The Scarlet Letter: “Gorgeous luxuriance of fantasy…”
English teacher: “Fancy.”
Student: “Fancy.” I can't read.
English teacher: I know.
–English Class, Bronx HS of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Biology teacher: So guys, we're going to go over the stuff I didn't get to yesterday.
Student: Mr. Jones*, you're too good of a teacher to have missed anything. There's nothing left to cover.
Biology teacher: We'll continue as soon as Thomas* takes his lips off my butt.
–Stuyvesant High School
