Wednesday One-Liners: Over a Billion Served.

McDonald's cashier: You gonna eat all that yourself? Haven't you seen that movie Supersize Me?

–McDonald's

Overheard by: Blayne

Thug: Yo, shorty, lemme buy you something special at McDonald's, show you I ain't a cheap date… why you laughin?

–117th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Jesse D

Obnoxious Southern tourist: Let's take a taxi back to the hotel, and then take the truck and eat at McDonald's again.

–W 49th & 5th

Overheard by: canucks

Haggardly old lady on cell: Damn, dude, I saw you at McDonald's checking me out yesterday!

–Broadway & 4th St

Overheard by: Jalex Leoley

Born-again evangelical, proselytizing: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!

–Staten Island Ferry

Bro: If she doesn't want to go to McDonald's every once in a while, I don't love her.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: alana h.

Posted on August 19, 2009
Cars and Driving, Cashiers, Christians, Church, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Dating, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Junk Food & Fast Food, Laughter, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Movies, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Southerners, Staten Island Ferry, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Thugs, Tourism, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires, Women

Let a Smile Be Your Wednesday One-Liner

Guy on cell: How can you be happy if you're acting like such a bitch all time?

–Melrose Ave & 154th St

Puerto Rican barista, as A-Team music starts playing: The A-Team! Man, that makes me think of when I was young and still happy!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Chris K.

30-something woman: I'm going to see Transformers. Transformers! Daa naa na naaa! You have to be happy in life, everybody is dying.

–34th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Frank Molla

Girl on cell, vehemently: I'm trying brown eyeliner. I hope this makes you happy!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Ashley

20-something girl: Just put some alcohol in me and I'll be happy.

–St. Mark's Place

Posted on August 19, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Baristas, Colors, Death, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Happiness, Insults, Makeup, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Music, Nostalgia, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Puerto Ricans, Questions, Street, Stupidity, The Bronx, Train Station, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Don't Hate Me Because I Love Tanning

High school student: You know, you're the only black guy I've met who isn't an asshole.
Friend: I'm not black.

–R Train

Posted on August 18, 2009
Colors, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Insults, KKK, On the Subway, Race, Students, Stupidity

Why Do You Think So Many Post-apocalyptic Thrillers Are Filmed in New York?

Southern tourist daughter: Mommy, why can't we just get off at Jamaica? Aren't there sunny beaches there? Why's it all so cloudy?
Southern tourist mother: Because we're on the subway to go to the Liberty Statue tour, honey bunches.
(short pause)
Southern tourist daughter: But why's everything so damaged?

–LIRR

Posted on August 17, 2009
Families, Moms, Parents, Public Transportation, Questions, Southerners, Statue of Liberty, Stupidity, Tourism, Trains Not Subway, Weather

Must…Resist…”Bitch”…Headline…

Drunk girl: (hiccuping)
Friendly gay guy: Oh, are you growing?
Drunk girl: (stares at him blankly)
Friendly gay guy: Oh, my puppy is growing, and whenever she is growing she gets the hiccups.
Drunk girl: I'm not your fucking dog!

–Elevator, Midtown Apartment Building

Overheard by: Meghan Monaco

Posted on August 17, 2009
Age/Aging, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Elevators, Insults, Man's Best Friend, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Queer guys, Questions, Stupidity

Guess Which Girl Is the Republican

Girl #1: But I don't have health insurance.
Girl #2: I don't think it's that big of a deal. Just be really careful.

–W 70th St

Posted on August 14, 2009
Advice, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

They Never Found It

Tourist #1: Wow, this is beautiful!
Tourist #2: Yeah, it is. Now if we could only find Central Park.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Roxie

Posted on August 13, 2009
Beauty, Central Park, NYC Geography, Parks, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

Wednesday One-Liners Really Need to Montauk

Asian fag to white hag: So if a natural disaster happened and Long Island had to be evacuated, we'd, like, all be screwed!

–2 Train

Overheard by: Kosi

Woman on cell: You all should come to Long Island. They're fucking civilized over there.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: Smitten Kitten

Hipster on cell, suddenly yelling: Mom, I live in New York City, not Long Island! New York City! Get a map. I live in New York City.

–Greenpoint

20-something blonde on cell: Uh… Long Island… that's on the East Side, right?

–John St & Cliff St

Overheard by: BennyP

Jersey girl to Long Island guys: Oh my god! I've never been to Long Island! I'll need rockstar directions! Oh, and I totally have camel toe!

–51st & 6th

Overheard by: Fanx 4 that

Posted on August 12, 2009
Accidents, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, B & T, Battery Park, Brooklyn, Death, Fag Hags, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, White People, Women

Wednesdays Wet Their One-Liners

Girl: So then I said "mother, I am 20 years old and you cannot tell me I can't go to Wet 'n Wild!"

–Central Park

Overheard by: Quella

Weird chick: Eeeeek! That toilet is flooding! My Payless shoes are getting wet! My beautiful Payless shoes! All this water looks like that movie, The Blob! Oh, I hate you, Steve McQueen! I hate you, I hate you!

–Women's Restroom, Port Authority

Overheard by: Amber Star

Drunk girl to drunker friend who spilled beer on her lap: Again with the vaginal wetness?

–LIRR

Guy to a girl in laundromat: Why can't you dry your underwear? Is that because they're so used to being wet when you're wearing them?

–1st. Ave & 7th St

Overheard by: Mike

Girl to boy: So about this whole wet dream thingy…

–C Train

Posted on August 12, 2009
About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Central Park, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Dreams, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Horny, Laundromat, Movies, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Port Authority, Questions, Shoes, Street, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Incomprehensible Wednesday One-Liners from Japan

Girl wearing yoga outfit to friend: And I'm like "you know that your face looks like a fucking cartoon character, don't you?"

–Houston & Mott

Overheard by: JohnJayinNYC

Teen boy: I don't like people. I just like Pokemon.

–Chipotle, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Mike N

Blipster: Girl, you know I already got a headache and then she all up in my face with that Dragon Ball Z breath.

–Fulton & Pearl

Girl, during promo network commercial before Up: It is not Cartoon Network if there are real people. I refuse to watch this show.

–Movie Theatre, Battery Park

Overheard by: Yelena

Excited man on cell: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? What are they? People love ancient Egypt way more than ninja turtles.

–Hungarian Pastry Shop

Overheard by: Casey Black

Scruffy hipster to friend: Now all we need to do is find Splinter and Donatello.

–L Train

Overheard by: lilli

Posted on August 12, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Battery Park, Black People, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Chinatown, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Grocery Stores, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, History & Geography, Insults, Men, Movie Theaters, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Street, Stupidity, Teens, TV, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Stupidity