Student: Well, like, trickle down economics works on a small scale.
TA: In what circumstances do you mean?
Student: Well, like, in third world countries… You give a family a cow, or you can give them two cows, and then they watch them mate and they sell their milk.
TA: [Silence.]
–NYU classroom, 13th & 4th
Professor, musing: I wonder what I'm going to do this weekend…
Student in lecture: Party!
Professor: Barbecue?
Student: No, party!
Professor: I think I'm a bit old for that.
Student: Party!
–NYU
Overheard by: Spazz
Perky trainer: Before we start the class, is there anyone with any injuries that I need to be aware of?
Chubby girl who smells vaguely of cigarettes: Does a hangover count?
–Equinox Gym, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Ladle
(Asian tourist walks onto subway with large panda-head shaped hat)
Random guy: Take off that silly ass hat!
–Uptown 1 Train
Guy: When I wear my other coat, I look like a yak.
–Mott St
Overheard by: robin
Thug to friend: I totally know fashion designers. I know who Hill-finger is.
–Thompson Street, SoHo
Drunk guy to orthodox Jew: Nice lid.
–Near Herald Square
Guy walking out of subway: Then she came in and told me to put the mask on.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Sarah
History teacher to class: Now, if you want a decent straw hat, do not make one.
–Millennium High School
Overheard by: Adriana
Mother to child in front of diorama of pilgrims and Native Americans: Well, that's because the Indians never met real people before.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Peter R.
Young girl, arriving through train tunnel at Grand Central Station: I wonder if Harriet Tubman is down here.
–Grand Central Station
Airhead: I think like… Colonialization is like… The umbrella theme of, like… Diplomacy.
–Pommes Frites
History teacher, about Andrew Jackson: He tight, he kill mad people, he buggin'.
–High School
Teacher, discussing Thomas Jefferson's mistress: You see, guys? History is exciting! It's full of sex!
–High School, Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: SzN31
Professor: And what was the issue in this case?
Law student: The company was displaying won-ton negligence.
Professor: Okay, good, but some people pronounce it ‘wanton.’
–Brooklyn Law School
Student: How was your break?
Math teacher: Screw you!
–Hunter College High School
Overheard by: citysnidget
Teacher: What's going on, guys? Why are your test scores so low?
Emotional girl: Well, there's just so much homework and you want to do it all, but you also want to really understand the material and there's just so much of it, and it's just so hard and … (squeals loudly)
Girl next to her: Nothing to express teenage angst like a good squeal.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Boat PA: Ladies and gentlemen on the top deck of the boat, please do not stand on the benches. If you fall overboard, you will die in this frigid, freezing water. Thank you, and enjoy your visit to Ellis island.
–Ellis Island Ferry
Overheard by: land lubber
Urban sophisticate: Steve Irwin’s death was random. That stingray did not know where his heart was!
–Metropolitan Opera
Overheard by: Opera Onlooker
Male suit to woman suit: So, hopefully you’re not the angel of death… Are you?
–53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: S&B
Teen guy to three teenage girls: I’m pretty sure I’m invincible and can’t die.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Justin
Woman on cell: My trip went really well, except for Marilyn’s* death and all.
–52nd St & Madison
Overheard by: kinicke
50-something professor: So, then the little girl goes back up into her room where she is reading bible verses while everyone else is in church. Then, she either dies all alone… Like Heath Ledger… Or she kills herself. We just don’t know.
–Barnard College
Seven-year-old boy to father: Did you know that when you get into middle school, all the girls care about is whether you're rich and have a cute ass? In elementary school, they only care about if you can run fast. If you run the fastest, you get all the girls.
–Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: Tara
Small boy to teacher in increasingly panicky voice: Is this Narnia? We're not Narnians yet, right?!
–NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: Narnia @ NYU?
Five-year-old to three-year-old brother: Listen, we're going to have food all winter. It's hibernation. You know what hibernation is, don't you? Hibernation is when animals eat a lot of food and sleep all winter. We're gonna hibernate!
–M104 Bus
Overheard by: Samantha
Little kid: Grandma, smell this! It's Obsession for Men!
–Bergdorf Goodman
Sobbing five-year-old girl to mom in CD section: I wanna download, I don't wanna waste my money.
–Borders, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Can records labels sue toddlers?
