Bitch, Say My Wednesday One-Liner!

Professor: My name is John, but some people call me Godzilla!

–Baruch College

Overheard by: Nas T. Pezz

Middle school student to friend: Nike was probably invented by a guy named like Nathaniel Ike. Get it? N. Ike.

–Marymount School

White woman on cell: So do I call you Wayne? Weezy? Lil?

–Broadway & Lafayette

Overheard by: kdice

Thug to another: What?! Upstate?! Nigga, no no no! Hell no! I ain't trustin no nigga named Chad. Who the fuck names a nigga Chad?

–F Train

Man on cell: Aw, come on! You shittin' me. Ain't no muthafucka named "gay-org!"

–5th Ave & 23rd St

Overheard by: manhattman

Teen girl on cell: My name is "princess," not "yo!"

–B61 Bus, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Tastypaper

Conductor: This is Carrol Street, named after my ex-wife, Carrol Garden. She was great.

–F Train

Posted on July 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Bus, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Directions, Family Ties, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Men, Movies, Names, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Questions, School, Shoes, Street, Students, Stupidity, Subway conductors, Teachers/Professors, Teens, The Village, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Women, Words

My Drywall Became a Wetwall

Teenage girl #1: So you Frenched a hole in your wall?
Teenage girl #2: Yes I did!

–14th St

Posted on July 13, 2009
K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Questions, Street, Teens, Weirdness

There's Always the Internet

Red haired teen: Aw, they're sold out! We're not gonna get to see the naked people!
Mom: Don't worry, honey, we'll see them another time.

–Outside Al Hirschfeld Theatre

Posted on July 13, 2009
Gripes, Moms, Nudity, Parents, Teens, Theater, Theater & Dance

It's Not 'Tried As an Adult'?

MoMA tour guide: What's the first word you think of when you see this painting?
Teen guy #1: White lollipop.
Teen guy #2: Yo, that's my nickname!

–MoMA

Overheard by: jamie

Posted on July 12, 2009
Clerks, MoMA, Nicknames & name calling, Questions, Teens, Visual Art, Words

Note: This Message Was Not Approved by Barack Obama

Teenager, fighting with security: Fuck you! Fuck all y'all! Obama, baby! (storms out)
Preppy guy: See, this is why I vote Republican.

–14th St & Union Square

Posted on July 11, 2009
Insults, Politics, Preppies, President, Security Guards, Teens, Union Square and East Village

A Cute Little Mom and Pop Quote

Mother to teenage burnout daughter, holding corn pops: I'm not buying these for you… they're like styrofoam!
Teenage burnout daughter, yelling down aisle: They're delicious! And I dreamed about them last night!
(mother puts cereal back into cart and dances to her cell phone ringtone)

–Gristedes, 168th St

Posted on July 10, 2009
Cell Phone, Dancing, Dreams, Food, Grocery Stores, Moms, Parents, Teens, Washington Heights and Inwood

“Luke, I Am Your Wednesday One-Liner”

Student to professor: Yeah, man, you know, because every time I slap you five, now I feel like I'm slapping your father's ass.

–Suffolk County Community College

Overheard by: Wish I was paying attention

Trashy sista' on cell: Did you know you've been nominated for an award? (pause) Yeah, I know! I mean, it's just nice to even be nominated, issa' honor. Yeah, you wanna know whacha been nominated for? You been nominated for the world's biggest deadbeat daddy!

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: I don't work here

Demi-bum to another, looking at postcards at a convenience store: Oh, I want to send a postcard to my father: Doing shitty, wish you cared!

–Fulton & Water

Teen girl to friend: Of course I got him tested!…but he wasn't the father either.

–145th & Broadway

Guard: Did you hear about that 9-year-old girl who gave birth to her own twin? I'm serious! It was inside her stomach and then she gave birth to it. And the craziest part is that the twin was from another father!

–74th & Madison

Latina girl to friend: You know, I don't even know what I saw in that loser. I should've dumped his ass the first time he tried hitting on my dad!

–58th & 6th

Overheard by: Tim J.

Posted on July 8, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, College, Compare/Contrast, Crazy, Duane Reade, Family Ties, Fighting and ass kicking, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Hobos, Insults, Kids, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Promiscuity, Questions, Security Guards, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Dirty Wednesday One-Linering

Tired thug teen, wistfully: I'd dance like crazy in a basement.

–R Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Two-year-old boy, pointing at three-month old baby: Isn't that guy in my dance class?

–Red Hook, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Swimfan

Clueless man to friend: What do you call male ballerinas anyway? Ballers?

–Cirque du Soleil Show, Randall's Island

Overheard by: TheGreenCat

Girl to friend: I didn't dance with him at all…I kept walking away from him…I wasn't actually a very good prom date.

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: wink

Metrosexual on cell: Do you have a large table in your apartment? Is it large enough for five men to stand on? Of course, we won't be dancing!

–Upper West Side

Posted on July 8, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Dancing, Dating, Education, Friends, Girls, Height, Kids, Men, Metrosexuals, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Teens, The Bronx, Theater, Thugs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

A Fitting End for Mr. Gere

Portly man: So what are you trying to tell me?
Skinny blond teen: He choked to death on a live hampster!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Not how I wanna go

Posted on July 4, 2009
Choke, Death, Men, Questions, Skinny People, Teens, Times Square, We Love Our Pets

They Were Feeling Their Oats When We Played 'em

White hipster teen, about basketball team: So are you guys good?
White hipster friend: Yeah, dude! I mean, we win against like black schools and shit. We just beat Brooklyn Friends last week.
White hipster teen: Dude, Brooklyn Friends is not a black school! Brooklyn Friends is a Quaker school!

–60th St & Amsterdam

Posted on July 2, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Friends, Hipsters, Questions, Race, School and studying, Sports, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People

Teens