One postal agent to other, speaking of the UPS agent nearby: Tell him to pick up all the heavy boxes, especially for the walk-ups.
–Bleecker street
Overheard by: Disco Lama
One postal agent to other, speaking of the UPS agent nearby: Tell him to pick up all the heavy boxes, especially for the walk-ups.
–Bleecker street
Overheard by: Disco Lama
Queer: I don't want someone to fuck me with their stoma!
–11th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Amanda
Gay guy: That girl is such a Rice Krispie.
–Outside Gristedes, Christopher St
Overheard by: McF
Queer on cell: And I said to him, "Take it like the bottom you are!"
–8th St & 23rd St
Gay guy: I just got pounded by the two hottest guys I've ever seen!
–58th & 9th
Gay man (getting his hair cut by another): So we went to Fire Island this weekend and we went to this party. I said, "Patrick, you better pee on Jon right now to mark your territory."
–57th & 7th
Gay man on cell: Oh, morals disappear after 8pm!
–Amsterdam & 83rd
Crazy man: Now, you probably don’t know this, but most of y’all have diabetes.
–1 train
Overheard by: bildita
Tall, skinny suit to lady suit: … What’s your sick policy? I was like, ‘Stay the fuck away from me, and don’t get me sick — that’s our sick policy!’
–13th & University
Overheard by: Dave D
Chick: I’da killed him if it wasn’t for that damn leukemia.
–9th & Smith St station
Dude: Can you get carpel tunnel of the butt?
–17th & 6th
Girl on cell: I’m like a virus. I never go away. I go away for a little bit, and you think you’re clear, and then I come back and take over your body.
–33rd & 30th, Astoria
Overheard by: brigid
Queer #1: I hear Jerry got a haircut.
Queer #2: It doesn’t matter: he still has scabies.
–Reade St & Lafayette
Gay thug #1: I wasn’t hitting on you, I was still with my ex-boyfriend then.
Gay thug #2: Then? Nigga, I wasn’t even gay eight months ago.
–Wendy’s, W. 3rd Street
Overheard by: Lizzy Vegas
Lesbian #1, indignantly: So, does this outfit look Michigan to you, huh? Does it?
Lesbian #2: (mumbles)
Lesbian #1: That's what I thought.
–1st Ave & Houston
Overheard by: dignell
Gay Guy #1: How’d you like that trough?
Gay Guy #2: What trough?
Gay Guy #1: The trough you pissed in.
Gay Guy #2: Oh, I loved it!
–Slide, East Village
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Guy: I mean, eating your own cum is one thing, but eating it on a pizza four hours later? I should probably keep my voice down…
–43rd & 8th
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID.
–outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street
Overheard by: pb dot c
Guy to girl: All I know about your baby is that as long as it's in your stomach, it's not gonna be underfed. I wouldn't be surprised if it came out with a chicken wing in its mouth.
–MacDougal & 3rd St
Overheard by: Jaco
Older hipster man, in front of organic section: So these eggs are tortured chicks, and these are non-tortured chicks… Hmmm…
–Fairmay Market, Red Hook
Overheard by: RStein
Black guy: Yo, black guy! Where is the nearest place I can get fried chicken? I want some fried chicken and grape soda!
–Union Square
Random guy on escalator: Fuck anime, I can't wait for that juicy buffalo chicken sandwich.
–Kinokuniya Bookstore
Overheard by: Chris Coll
