Morbidly obese daughter: She yelled at me and told me to stop.
Morbidly obese mother: Ignore her, you just keep humming.
–Greenwich St & Horatio St
Overheard by: way to parent.
Headline by: Ron D.
Runners-Up:
· “…Like a Fridge” – Paul Tabachneck
· “Fat Girls Give the Best Hummers” – KJM
· “It’s the Only Exercise You Get Anyway” – amy the rat
· “The Subway Ride Ain’t Over Till the Fat Lady Hums” – sammie
· “What Are the Odds That There’s a McDonald’s at Greenwich & Horatio?” – Rich
Older man: If you drank a thousand gallons of beer, and then took off your pants…
–79th & West End
Girl to guy with beavers on pants: Excuse me, are those beavers on your pants?
–6 Train
20-something preppy girl on cell: Whenever I'm cheating on my boyfriend, I take off my pants and pretend to be an albino bunny.
–Central Park
Overheard by: that one girl
Guy on cell: If I don't get in her pants tonight, I'm gonna fuck you up!
–1st Ave
Aging drag queen to friend: It's much better than sick obsessions with blond males between the ages of 18 and 25 who always take their pants off to play GameCube.
–The Village
Overheard by: Amused NYU Tischie
McDonald's cashier: You gonna eat all that yourself? Haven't you seen that movie Supersize Me?
–McDonald's
Overheard by: Blayne
Thug: Yo, shorty, lemme buy you something special at McDonald's, show you I ain't a cheap date… why you laughin?
–117th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Jesse D
Obnoxious Southern tourist: Let's take a taxi back to the hotel, and then take the truck and eat at McDonald's again.
–W 49th & 5th
Overheard by: canucks
Haggardly old lady on cell: Damn, dude, I saw you at McDonald's checking me out yesterday!
–Broadway & 4th St
Overheard by: Jalex Leoley
Born-again evangelical, proselytizing: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!
–Staten Island Ferry
Bro: If she doesn't want to go to McDonald's every once in a while, I don't love her.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: alana h.
Gay hipster boy: Oh, look at that poor “lost cat” sign. That fur balls never coming back… I can't even figure out my way back home in Brooklyn.
Fag hag: True, that.
–5th Ave & 9th St
Girl with snake around her neck to stranger: He doesn't really like people or sudden movements.
Stranger #1: Then why the fuck do you have him out in New York City?
Girl with snake: Because he likes fresh air.
Stranger #1: I repeat, then why the fuck do you have him out in New York City?
Stranger #2: Well, my snake loves people! (grabs his junk)
–Greenwich Village
Overheard by: erin
Latina #1: What's her nationality?
Latina #2: She's a lesbian.
–Houston & Broadway
Boys in group, walking past novelty shop: Booong! Booong! Booong!
Irate friend: That's not a bong, that's a dildo, dumbass!
–6th Ave & W 4th St
Overheard by: theincredilbong
Dude, hitting on girl: So, I'm going to NYU to study for my master's.
Girl, with dim-witted enthusiasm: I want a master's!
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Teenage hipster #1: Wait, I thought those were alcoholic.
Teenage hipster #2: No, they're not at all! I'm so up for Shirley Temples right now!
–6th & Waverly
Overheard by: LizzieD
Dude #1: It's pretty easy to tell when he's depressed.
Dude #2: Oh, of course. He starts crying and doing push ups.
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
