Who Wears the Pants in Your Wednesday One-Liners?

Older man: If you drank a thousand gallons of beer, and then took off your pants…

–79th & West End

Girl to guy with beavers on pants: Excuse me, are those beavers on your pants?

–6 Train

20-something preppy girl on cell: Whenever I'm cheating on my boyfriend, I take off my pants and pretend to be an albino bunny.

–Central Park

Overheard by: that one girl

Guy on cell: If I don't get in her pants tonight, I'm gonna fuck you up!

–1st Ave

Aging drag queen to friend: It's much better than sick obsessions with blond males between the ages of 18 and 25 who always take their pants off to play GameCube.

–The Village

Overheard by: Amused NYU Tischie

Posted on August 19, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Central Park, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drag queens, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hair, Infidelity, Men, Nudity, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Preppies, Questions, Sex, Street, The Village, Threats, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Video Games, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners: Over a Billion Served.

McDonald's cashier: You gonna eat all that yourself? Haven't you seen that movie Supersize Me?

–McDonald's

Overheard by: Blayne

Thug: Yo, shorty, lemme buy you something special at McDonald's, show you I ain't a cheap date… why you laughin?

–117th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Jesse D

Obnoxious Southern tourist: Let's take a taxi back to the hotel, and then take the truck and eat at McDonald's again.

–W 49th & 5th

Overheard by: canucks

Haggardly old lady on cell: Damn, dude, I saw you at McDonald's checking me out yesterday!

–Broadway & 4th St

Overheard by: Jalex Leoley

Born-again evangelical, proselytizing: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!

–Staten Island Ferry

Bro: If she doesn't want to go to McDonald's every once in a while, I don't love her.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: alana h.

Posted on August 19, 2009
Cars and Driving, Cashiers, Christians, Church, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Dating, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Junk Food & Fast Food, Laughter, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Movies, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Southerners, Staten Island Ferry, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Thugs, Tourism, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires, Women

The Bread Crumbs Have Thus Far Proven Ineffective

Gay hipster boy: Oh, look at that poor “lost cat” sign. That fur balls never coming back… I can't even figure out my way back home in Brooklyn.
Fag hag: True, that.

–5th Ave & 9th St

Posted on August 11, 2009
Balls, Fag Hags, Gay Man's Best Friend, Hipsters, Home, Sweet Home, Queer guys, The Village, Weirdness

Finally an Excuse to Use That Line!

Girl with snake around her neck to stranger: He doesn't really like people or sudden movements.
Stranger #1: Then why the fuck do you have him out in New York City?
Girl with snake: Because he likes fresh air.
Stranger #1: I repeat, then why the fuck do you have him out in New York City?
Stranger #2: Well, my snake loves people! (grabs his junk)

–Greenwich Village

Overheard by: erin

Posted on August 10, 2009
Girls, Insults, Penis, Questions, Strangers, The Village, We Love Our Pets

So…Greek?

Latina #1: What's her nationality?
Latina #2: She's a lesbian.

–Houston & Broadway

Posted on August 9, 2009
Foreigners, Gays and Lesbians, Latinos, Questions, Sexuality, Stupidity, The Village

It's a Different Kind Of Head Shop

Boys in group, walking past novelty shop: Booong! Booong! Booong!
Irate friend: That's not a bong, that's a dildo, dumbass!

–6th Ave & W 4th St

Overheard by: theincredilbong

Posted on August 7, 2009
Anger Management, Boys, Dildos and Vibrators, Friends, Insults, Smoking, The Village

…That's an S&M Thing, Right?

Dude, hitting on girl: So, I'm going to NYU to study for my master's.
Girl, with dim-witted enthusiasm: I want a master's!

–Bleecker & Lafayette

Posted on August 7, 2009
Education, Girls, Guys, S&M, School and studying, The Village, Wishes & desires

It's the Cherry

Teenage hipster #1: Wait, I thought those were alcoholic.
Teenage hipster #2: No, they're not at all! I'm so up for Shirley Temples right now!

–6th & Waverly

Overheard by: LizzieD

Posted on August 6, 2009
About Celebrities, Drinking & Drunk People, Hipsters, Teens, The Village

Every Rocky Movie, in a Nutshell

Dude #1: It's pretty easy to tell when he's depressed.
Dude #2: Oh, of course. He starts crying and doing push ups.

–W 4th St & 6th Ave

Posted on July 31, 2009
Crying, Fitness, Guys, Psychology, The Village, Weirdness

Does That Connote Romance in the Gay Community?

Gay guy #1 to girl: I only say these things to you because I'm your best friend.
Gay guy #2: Bitch! I'm her best friend!
Girl: Great. Now you guys are totally going to fight for me.
Gay guy #1: I will fuck him up right here. That's how much I love you.

–14th St & 9th Ave

Posted on July 30, 2009
Fighting and ass kicking, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insults, Love, Queer guys, Sex, The Village