Private school teen #1: So, did you understand what our Current Issues teacher was talking about with, like, that guy Dick Cheney and the speech he gave on NBC or something?
Private school teen #2: Oh, you mean that drag queen who spoke out against AIDS?
Private school teen #1: Yeah! I think that’s what she’s talking about.
–Union Square
Man collecting change for homeless New Yorkers: Hey folks, you know we can't do it without you, and blah blah blah and yadda yadda yadda.
Passerby: (giggles)
Man collecting change: Oh, you heard that?
–Union Square
Guy on cell: Yeah, it’s weird, it feels like I’m still alive.
–W 8th & Broadway
Guy: I still think surprise necrophilia is weird.
–Robert Louis Stevenson School
Overheard by: Lucas
Man to woman companion: I hate single people. They’re all weird.
–90th b/w 2nd & 3rd
Man on cell: February is a weird month for Jews.
–9th St. and 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Trader Joe’s employee to another: No, I would not call her weird. It takes a lot for me to call somebody else weird because I am not the most normal person on the planet myself. Meow!
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Ingwall
Observant girl: Just because you get weird haircuts doesn’t mean you’re smart.
–Bowery & Rivington
Lady approaching friend and her child: Well, hello Sabrina! What are you going to ask from Santa Claus for Christmas?
Little girl: Look, lady — I’m eight, not ignorant.
–Christmas market, Union Square
Overheard by: jaded
Guy: Wait, how’s that work, exactly?
Girl: Well, you have sex according to the woman’s menstrual cycle, you know, and you just don’t have sex when she’s ovulating.
Guy: Don’t you have to take a health class or something to do that?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Katie
Guy #1, reading Post: This is why I drink! I drink to forget this shit!
Guy #2: I used to drink to forget. Now I just pee to remember.
–Sin Sin Bar, East Village
Overheard by: Alan Roberts
Latina #1: I’ve never been there.
Latina #2: Wait, you’ve never been to Loehmann’s?! And you call yourself a Puerto Rican bargain shopper!
–13th & 3rd
Ten-year-old wannabe thug: I'ma put this can of pepper spray up your ass! You want me to put this up your ass?!
–Old Navy, Harlem
Worried bearded 50-something: Yeah, but how are we going to film an anal birth!?
–F Train
Street vendor selling his wares: I will shove your foot up the devil's ass!
–St Mark's Place
Yankee stadium employee yelling to another: Hey, wouldja bend over for a minute? I'll be right back!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: torrie
Gay teen: His hole was as big as a traffic cone!
–1st & 14th
Sinfully ugly girl: I have to stop putting things in my ass.
–forever 21 (queens center mall)
Overheard by: defragment my harddrive
Chick #1: Give me your hand!
Chick #2: Give me your nipple!
Chick #1: Give me your hand!
Chick #2: Give me your nipple!
–Mott & Spring
Overheard by: Wondering what she wants the nipple for…
Hipster girl #1: Yeah, but each time you inhale one, you kill, like, one hundred brain cells.
Hipster girl #2: Really?
Hipster girl #1: Yeah, I used to do a whole carton at a time.
–7th St between 1st & A
