Girl #1: Your room always smells so good, like coconuts and coffee. It reminds me of the Caribbean. What kind of candles do you have?
Girl #2: That’s not from a candle. The coconut is from the foot cream I use so my feet don’t stink and the coffee smell is there because I spilled some on my carpet and never cleaned it up.
Girl #1: Oh…where can I get the foot cream, then?
–Starbucks, 17th & Broadway
Girl: Gross. It smells like nasty pussy here.
Guy: How do you know what that smells like?
Girl: Uh… well, it’s what I imagine it would smell like.
–7th & A
Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money?
–47th & 5th
Overheard by: Adam Bertocci
Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money!
–M14 bus
Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change!
–14th between 5th & University
Overheard by: theNJl
Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money.
–Starbucks, 27th & Park
Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson
Gay man: I deserved it.
Hobo, jumping into the conversation: I deserve two dollars!
–East Village
NYU Girl: Have you ever taken the bus?
NYU Guy: No.
NYU Girl: Oh my God! It’s so fun! We should take it!
NYU Guy: Where to?
NYU Girl: I don’t know.
–3rd Avenue and 10th Street
Girl: I think it’s “Alzheimer’s”; they’re old but it’s not “Oldsheimer’s”.
–57th and 3rd
Chick: So, New York, huh?
Pierced hipster: Yeah… I wanna move back to Pennsylvania, though.
Chick: Oh my god! Why?
Pierced hipster: It’s on the books here that everything you can do besides missionary position is illegal.
–4th St & Ave A
Mom: You couldn’t even wait ’til we got to the bathroom.
Little boy: I told you.
Mom: You know you coulda held it.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Ben Couch
Girl #1: Oh my God. I just got back from Amsterdam, and they have, like, the worst gum there.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Seriously. When we landed, I couldn’t wait to buy Orbitz. I have a serious gum addiction.
–Irving Plaza
Overheard by: Lauren
Student #1: I met a guy on craigslist for “no strings attached” sex.
Student #2: Yeah? Was he weird, or was it fine?
Student #1: He was my TA from one of my classes last year.
Student #2: That’s the epitome of awkward turtle.
–Union Square
