How Many Licks Does It Take to Get to the Center Of a Wednesday One-Liner?

Chick on cell: It's all about the eyeball lick. Tell her.

–59th St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: aenigma

NYPD cop: I would rather lick the street than ever smell your fart again.

–Forsyth St & E Houston St

Overheard by: Dave-o

Teen girl to friends: He's so gross! Seriously, I'd rather lick my cat's asshole than hook up with that guy!

–Barnes & Noble, Bayside

Guy at bar to friend: I can't believe you married a woman who won't lick your asshole.

–Ale House, MacDougal St

Random woman: Why do you always insist on licking my elbow?

–86th & 3rd

Overheard by: Jana

Posted on April 7, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Cops, Farting & Burping, Friends, Gay Man's Best Friend, Girls, Guys, Hook Ups, Licking, Lower East Side, Marriage, On Cell, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Store, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

And a Nazi Wouldn’t Hail a Cab Of Color

Little tourist boy: Mommy! Look, that lady is a Nazi!
Frazzled tourist mom: What? Oh… Honey, that nice lady is hailing a cab, not Hitler.

–Bowery

Posted on April 7, 2015
Boys, Cars and Driving, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, Parents, Tourists, Union Square and East Village

I Thought You Meant It Metaphorically

Angry male #1: She's sixteen years old, you fuck! Sixteen!
Angry male #2: Well, I didn't know that!
Female: I told you last night!

–3rd Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: heard this from the 8th floor

Posted on April 6, 2015
Age/Aging, Girls, Guys, Lies, Robbing the Cradle, Sex, Union Square and East Village

That Would Be the Cherry on My Sundae

[Thuggish teen prances in front of taxi.]Cabbie: Are you really that poor that you need to walk and get hit by my cab for money?!
Thuggish teen, walking to taxi window: Thats what I do! Mmmhmmm [Eats ice cream slowly at car window.]

–10th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Melissa Anne

Posted on April 6, 2015
Accidents, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Default, Money & Class, Questions, Teens, Thugs, Union Square and East Village

Where Can I Possibly Find a Coffee?

Woman: Can I have a coffee?
Ice Cream Lady: You want coffee ice cream?
Woman: No, coffee.
Ice Cream Lady: Oh, we don’t sell coffee.

–Coldstone Ice Cream, Astor Place

Overheard by: Alayna

Posted on April 5, 2015
Cashiers, Coffee, Union Square and East Village, Women

And Would It Rumple My Spiderman Sheets?

Girl: If you were sleeping and your girlfriend woke you up in the middle of the night because she wants to…you know. Would you be upset?
Guy: Is it a school night?

–East Village

Posted on April 3, 2015
Default, Education, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Sexuality, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-liners Hit the Premiere

Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.

–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street

Posted on April 2, 2015
About Celebrities, Arts & Letters, Celebrities Overheard, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Fordham, Friendship, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, Movies, Music, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Poop, Pop Culture, Preppies, Queers, Stupidity, The Bronx, Thugs, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Violence

When They Lined Us Up in Order Of Coolness

Girl: Why does the 10:15 movie have to be sold out?
Guy: Because a bunch of losers were in front of us.
Girl: Just like in high school.

–11th St & 3rd Ave

Posted on April 1, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Film, Girls, Guys, Movies, School and studying, Union Square and East Village

For Instance, I Could Learn What “Audacity” Means

Preppy girl #1: Where's that Obama book?
Preppy girl #2: The Audacity of Hope?
Preppy girl #1: Yeah, that one.
Preppy girl #2: Why do you want that? It's not like you're gonna read it.
Preppy girl #1: I know, but I feel like if I did, I'd be a lot smarter, you know?

–Strands Book Store, Union Square

Posted on April 1, 2015
Books & Writing, Girls, Preppies, President, Questions, Store, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires

But More Accurate Than “Lamp-Post”

Drunk girl #1: (points at a green minivan) Cab!
Drunk girl #2: Nope.

–Union Square West

Overheard by: Anna D

Posted on March 31, 2015
Cars and Driving, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

Union Square and East Village