Skanky woman: If you've got so many phones, why do you never call me?
Skanky man, shouting: Because I'm a drug addict!
–Union Square
Overheard by: dionneloftus
Skanky woman: If you've got so many phones, why do you never call me?
Skanky man, shouting: Because I'm a drug addict!
–Union Square
Overheard by: dionneloftus
Girl: Do you like it better when I'm shaved?
Guy: Eh… I don't really care.
Girl: Really? Most guys have a preference.
Guy: Yeah, but with you it doesn't matter. You know how any hairstyle looks good on a pretty face? It's kind of like that.
–Bowery & 5th St
Overheard by: didn't see her face…
Ranting guy: You don’t remember the ’60s! You weren’t there! It was a blur!
–E. 4th St. & Ave. B
Overheard by: Chaoskitty
Gay #1: How is being gay going for you?
Gay #2: I don’t really jibe with the culture.
Gay #1: Like what?
Gay #2: The music.
–7A Cafe, East Village
Old woman: I don’t care what the fuck he says, I was a pirate in my last life, and I was on eight pirate ships!
–Williamsburg
Hobo: She was a…Mormon, no, not a Mormon. A Mormon! No, not a Mormon. What’s that religion that’s against violence? Not a Mormon, not a Mormon…a Quaker! That’s right, you know, a Mormon. It’s a circle of friends so I could just go in there and say, “Hey, I’m a Jew. I am against violence.” And they would wanna be my friends, the Mormons.
–Union Square
Sailor: I can’t believe that stripper stole your book.
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: Doug Singer
Girl: I would have been complimented if he’d been fine…but I believe he was homeless.
–21st & 7th
Overheard by: The Radford
Thugette #1: I can’t believe she said that shit! That shit will get you killed!
Thugette #2: I know, that’s why I’m laughing!
–Union Square
Tourist man: And then we can go in there and get raped.
Tourist woman: Yeah. Let’s go get murdered in Central Park.
–5th Ave & 19th St
Hipster girl: You know Mabel’s dead, right?
Hipster boy: [Snickers.]
–9th St & Ave B
Overheard by: Rebecca Katherine Hirsch
Headline by: troy
Runners-Up:
· “And hen I heard about 9/11 I laughed so hard the milk came out my nose” – David Reitmeyer
· “If I Knew You Were Going To Take That Attitude, I’d Never Have Named The Fetus” – ED
· “Stan never thought about the awkward exchange AFTER you put your girlfriend’s cat in the microwave” – alexcalibur
· “There are people named mabel who are still ALIVE?!” – mimi marquez
Frustrated looking suit: Okay, well, how about the duck? It looks good.
Vapid looking hottie: I told you! I do not eat seafood!
–Gramercy Tavern, Union Square
Conductor: Please stop holding my doors open in the back! (pause, no change) Stop pushing open my doors in the back! (pause, no change) Hey, I don't want no more people squeezing through my openings in the back, okay?
–Q Train
Overexcited tourist dad to little girls: Alright, Jade*, blow the bubbles towards Leah*. Yes, towards her, like facing each other, so I can take a picture… When I tell you, okay? Perfect. Okay, now blow each other.
–Liberty Park
Suit: Well, it's not very large by adult standards, but it's big for what it is.
–Queens
Male office worker: My drawers are getting tight already.
–Broadway
Old woman: Would you like to give a donation to help feed our pussies?
–PETCO, Union Square
Overheard by: Lex
