Teen boy: Was it you who told me you watch porn?
Teen girl, sarcastic: Yeah.
Teen boy: Do you really?
Teen girl, rolling eyes: Oh, all the time.
Teen boy: Did you know there are some girls who put a squid up there?
–C Train
Overheard by: Paige
Teen boy: Was it you who told me you watch porn?
Teen girl, sarcastic: Yeah.
Teen boy: Do you really?
Teen girl, rolling eyes: Oh, all the time.
Teen boy: Did you know there are some girls who put a squid up there?
–C Train
Overheard by: Paige
Ghetto chick #1: When I was younger, I was afraid to wash myself in certain areas.
Ghetto chick #2: Why?
Ghetto chick #1: Well, I thought that if I washed my vagina, it would burn.
Ghetto chick #2: Um… You're over that now, right? You wash now?
Ghetto chick #1: Oh yeah. Everything's fine now. I wash it.
–Red Lobster, Times Square
Overheard by: Kit
Girl #1 staring at Vagisil cream in a security lock box in CVS: Oh my god, that's messed up! Come see this!
Girl #2: What's that just mean?
Girl #1, in funny voice: Ummmm… excuse me, I need my vaginal cream, please I have an itch!
Girl #2, in funny voice: Ummmm… is it a just an itchy sensation or a burning itchy sensation?
Girl #1, in funny voice: Yes, yes, please… I need my cream.
Girl #2, in funny voice: Well, that's just swell! Let me unlock that for you, then.
–Madison Ave
Gay guy: I like baby clothes more than babies.
Straight friend: Good thing, cause you guys are missing a vagina.
Gay guy: But I do like babies more than vaginas.
Straight friend: You like a lot of things more than vaginas! You like traffic more than vaginas.
–Bleecker & Christopher
Overheard by: Also doesn't like vaginas.
Hot girl on cell: You got cockblocked by cancer! (pause, then very seriously) Is your pussy still radioactive?
–Upper East Side
Grown man talking to grown woman: You know the sandy vagina?
–32nd & 8th
Street man to slutty-looking hipsters: Freeze! Drop your drawers! We've got your pussy surrounded!
–2nd Ave
Overheard by: Maureen
30-something woman on cell: I like to use a blowdryer on the… uh… vaginas.
–D Train
Girl, screaming into cell: No, I will not give you my vagina!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Can I borrow it?
Black guy to black girl: Are you a lesbian?
Black girl: Ha ha! No.
Black guy: What, you don't like pussy?
Black girl: No.
Black guy: I like pussy, why don't you show me yours?
Latina girl: Sit down.
(black guy sits down, Latina girl puts hands in his pants)
–Uptown 2 Train
Black dude to friend: Well, check this out my nigga! Cracking your knuckles does not lead to arthritis… Mythbusters, my nigga!
–Park Slope
Black pimp on cell: That nigger ain't even give you a little nigga baby. All that nigga ever do is just fuck you and leave your ass, bitch. You got a child yoself, take care of your real nigga baby, because that's the nigga who keeps with you. That nigga won't fuck any other sluts. (notices everybody's staring at him) What the fuck y'all niggas lookin at?
–Social Security Office, East Village
Would-be feminist: Pussy don't have no power no more, because if it did, niggas wouldn't be doin' what they do.
–Jefferson Ave & Throop Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jocasta Spell
Polish woman, walking up to group of ghetto fabs: Yo' wut up, my niggas? (pounds fist with ghetto fab guy)
–Delancy St
Overheard by: Kirkegaard
Crazy black man on phone: When you talk like that I'm gonna call you the N-word! (pause) Don't talk like that! (pause) I want to have sex with you.
–Murray Hill
Dirty guy to woman: Damn, baby!
Woman to dirty guy: Nigga, pleez! I eat more pussy then you do!
–Centre & Chambers
Girl #1: So your birthday is tomorrow?
Girl #2: Yeah, it should have been today but I was too much of a fat-ass to fit through my mom's vagina.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2, yelling: It should have been today but I was too much of a fat-ass to fit through my mom's vagina.
Girl #1: Bummer.
–Spring & Varick
Asian fag to white hag: So if a natural disaster happened and Long Island had to be evacuated, we'd, like, all be screwed!
–2 Train
Overheard by: Kosi
Woman on cell: You all should come to Long Island. They're fucking civilized over there.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Smitten Kitten
Hipster on cell, suddenly yelling: Mom, I live in New York City, not Long Island! New York City! Get a map. I live in New York City.
–Greenpoint
20-something blonde on cell: Uh… Long Island… that's on the East Side, right?
–John St & Cliff St
Overheard by: BennyP
Jersey girl to Long Island guys: Oh my god! I've never been to Long Island! I'll need rockstar directions! Oh, and I totally have camel toe!
–51st & 6th
Overheard by: Fanx 4 that
