Guy #1, shocked, and loud: Wow, so it fills your whole body with sperm?!
Guy #2, pondering: You know, I’m not quite sure how it works.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Pt Photo
Guy #1, shocked, and loud: Wow, so it fills your whole body with sperm?!
Guy #2, pondering: You know, I’m not quite sure how it works.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Pt Photo
Hipster: It smells like acid rain.
–Smith St. Carroll Gardens
Black man: I can never watch you eat sausage again. It was the most awkwardly erotic thing I've ever seen. It was the perfect combination of food and female.
–Pratt Coffee Shop, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Maryrose
Boy to friend: And then the teacher said: "and that's the history of ham"!
–Queens
Overheard by: alex
Young woman on cell: Well, I would go to Gray's for hot dogs with you, but I can't. I gave up tubed meat for lent.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Caroline
Cute teen girl: It'd be like a floppy bag of meat… (pause) I'm not talking about dick!
–Starbucks
Woman placing drive-thru order: And two junior bacon cheeseburgers. Actually, I don't want the bacon. I don't want to get the swine flu.
–Wendy's Drivethru, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Oh the Pig-manity!
Upset Orthodox Jew mother to baby in stroller: Bacon!? Who told you about bacon!?
–West End & West 100th St
Old lady walking with tiny dog, arm extended: Taxi! Taxi! Goddamn it! Taxi! We have to get out of here now! Taxi!
Nearby doorman: I'll hail you a cab, ma'am.
Old lady: You shut your dirty mouth!
–64th & York
Overheard by: Nora
Girl to guy: And I was like, "He bleaches his asshole, what does he know about anatomy?"
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Seven-year-old girl to boy throwing mud at her: Watch it, Jakob! I wore eyeliner today!
–Fort Greene Park, Brooklyn
Very large woman on cell: It's called "Brazilian wax job." You only have to do it like every two weeks. Yep, it itches for a day or two, but it's worth every penny.
–PATH
Overheard by: Corey
Young lady with long curly hair to girlfriend: So, I started drying my hair with paper towels recently.
–Montague St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: E-Man>Master of the UNIVERSE!
Outraged feminine gay guy to another: He's having his lips redone… again!
–8th Ave & 20th St, Chelsea
Overheard by: Evan
Woman on cell: Girl, I don't understand why you gotta put on all that makeup just to go for a colonic!
–Washington Heights
Teen girl #1: Man… I really need some hair gel.
Teen girl #2: This morning, my mom told me I was too fat to go to prom.
–Bathroom, Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: thivnav
Guy on cell: I'm walking down St. Marks, and I'm having psychological issues. That's why I'm calling this NYU support number.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: A preponderance of hipsters can sort of do that to you…
Stylish guy on phone: No, I do not have time to check if anyone is gesticulating at me, I'm walking to Chipotle!
–Sock Man, St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Rachel Isadora
Thick-accented gentleman: You nevah saw that movie? Penguins walkin'?
–Smith & Wollensky's Steakhouse
Overheard by: kritta
Too-tan Columbia student: Oh my god! You should totally have picked up your phone the other night because I was totally ready to, like, walk by myself down 122nd Street to the d train, alone, at like, midnight! Even though I know it wouldn't have been very safe to do that, I was ready!
–Uptown 2 Train
Woman to another, holding the strings to 100 helium balloons: You never walk my balloons!
–Lafayette & Cumberland, Fort Greene
Overheard by: Brenda
Fat college guy on cell: I only read books with robot insects on the cover. If it doesn’t have robot insects, I slap a sticker on. Pride and Prejudice? Robot insects on the cover makes it better.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: Ferry
Guy to friend: Look, the root of the problem is that you have a shrine dedicated to semi-colons in your closest! I don’t care if they’re the god of all punctuation marks, that’s just weird!
–Stuyvesant High School
Metrosexual: I’m fairly certain that I’ve read every single fantasy series that has dragons in it.
–Stuyvesant Town
Overheard by: Karin
Ghetto chick: Nah, all I’m sayin’s is that even if you look like Steve Urkel, as long as you got the brain of Steve Urkel, you good with me.
–Jamaica-bound F train
Overheard by: Floyd
Leader of pack of teen boys dressed up like Star Trek characters: I didn’t say it was a good planet…
–Tuxedo Renaissance Festival
Overheard by: Murray
Woman on cell: You did what? No. No, the key is with the handcuffs.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: argonaut
Neighbor heard through thin dorm wall: Yeahhhhh, I'm a bad boy. You wanna spank me?
–Pratt Institute
NYU girl to friend: I think Jesus wore latex.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Mimi
Hippie woman on cell: Okay, why don't you just untie each other and come on down so we can talk about this?
–50th St & Park Ave
Queer to friend: Never again! If I ever have to do that again, I’ll stab myself in the face! (turns to Asian lady on escalator behind him) Hi! Don’t kill yourself!
Asian lady: I probably should…
–Penn Station
