Hipster: Man, it’s like…SoHo’s becoming the next Williamsburg.
–SoHo
Hipster: Man, it’s like…SoHo’s becoming the next Williamsburg.
–SoHo
20-something guy: His beard makes him look like Chuck Norris.
20-something girl: Who?
Bartender: Chuck Norris. He was Walker, Texas Ranger.
20-something guy: You don't know who Chuck Norris is?
20-something girl: I feel like we always talk about Chuck Norris and I have no idea who he is.
–3rd St & Berry, Williamsburg
Overheard by:
Hipster guy to hipster chick: …and he's like, "I didn't come; why is there so much come all over?" And she's like, "Oh, you're number 23." So he's like, "Oh, okay." And he starts pounding away again!
–Bedford & 11th, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Woman, with her mouth about an inch from a guy, about to kiss him: I can't, I already had sex with three guys today.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Derek
Girl to friend: I'm really worried about her. I think she has a serious case of slutism.
–66th & Columbus
Preppy girl on cell: Yeah, so apparently "Happy hour Tuesday" equals "Walk of shame Wednesday." I just wish I could've been working at my job for more than a week before I walked in reeking of shame and spermicide. (pause) Actually, I wish the spermicide thing was true. Then I wouldn't have to drop $50 bucks today on plan B.
–Wall St
Teenage boy on cell: She's still sleeping with my brother. I mean, my brother is sleeping with like ten other girls…but she's in his regular rotation.
–Starbucks, Montague Street
NYU student on cell: But logic doesn't call you back. Logic sleeps with you and leaves in the morning.
–Kimmel Center
Hobo: Fuck God! I am God, and God is dead.
–Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Matt Dillon: This theatre has awful feng shui.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Man: All I want is vaginal fluids. Been locked up for years upstate.
–Astor Place
Hipster dude: It smells like dirty vagina out here.
–Graham & Richardson, Williamsburg
Amateur gynecologist: I mean, when you think about it, he’s really just a big vagina with sand in it.
–93rd & 3rd
Frat guy: I don’t know, man…I just don’t trust her vagina.
–Outside Ray’s Pizza, Houston St
Overheard by: Becky
Chubby teen: I’ve never even touched a vagina!
–100th & Amsterdam
Worker: They had a bet on who ate the best pussy. They get on the stage and take turns going down on her.
–32nd & Madison
Woman, to store clerk: Excuse me, do you knows where the pussy products is?
–Duane Reade, 45th & 6th
In Williamsburg:
Hipster #1: People in France are so fucked up.
Hipster #2: Not all of them. Only 20%.
Gay guy to passersby: Spare an asshole for a gay man?
–Union Square
Man to woman: It's not that I'm an asshole; I just don't want to be seen with you.
–Bar, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Eric
Hipster chic: You could fit a globe in your asshole, it's so big.
–Bedford Ave & 3rd St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: letthemusicplayy
Woman, answering cell: Hey, asshole!
–Rite Aid, Grand Central
Girl: We were really drunk and didn't use a condom the other night.
Friend: It happens.
Girl: Afterward, he joked that I should get tested.
Friend: Hahaha, really?
Girl: We both laughed, it was funny…then he said, “no, seriously.”
–Williamsburg
Dad: Okay, girls! Now, we’re on a very tight budget — you can get ketchup, mustard, or barbecue sauce.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: bill R
Girl: Apparently I ate an entire jar of mustard.
–Bard High School Early College
Overheard by: and didn’t notice?
Hot guy on cell: That’s fine, but I just don’t want to find the television smeared with peanut butter this time…
–96th & CPW
White chick: La Choy is the white trash of soy sauce!
–113th St
Overheard by: Meister E.
Man to hobo: If I had any more butter, I would give it to you, but I don’t because I used it already.
–Howard St
Overheard by: havarthe
Foxy lady, to female dining companion: I could pour ketchup in your cleavage and dip a fry in it… Just dip it in! Why are people staring at us?
–Relish, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Justin Casement
