I Like It Better When They Talk About Starbucks

Guy on cell: OK, well, be safe. If you get raped make sure he wears a condom.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Daniel

Girl: Don’t let me talk to boys after I take blue pills.

–31st & 2nd

Girl #1: Sometimes he like to rape my ass.
Girl #2: Ew! Hee hee.

–outside The Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: Josh Neufeld

Girl #1: Well, she was raped.
Girl #2: I wasn’t really raped.

–Vertigo, 26th & 3rd

Yuppie chick #1: Sweetie, you’re going to get raped dressed like that.
Yuppie chick #2: No. I have an umbrella.

–Delancey & Allen

Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti

Posted on March 30, 2018
Backdoor, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Clothing, Condoms, Drugs, Fashion, Health and Hygiene, Lower East Side, Manhattan, More museums, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Museums, On Cell, Places, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Rape, Sex, Venues, Violence, Williamsburg, Yuppies

Wednesday One-Liners Get a Reltney

Hipster girl: And he's always like, "oh god, I'm so hard!" and I'm always just like, "really?"

–Kimmel Cafeteria, NYU

Loud passenger: I'm so horny I'd fuck a potato right now.

–Metro-North

Overheard by: fingerling

Guy: I've had a hard-on all day! I need to polish my lid.

–Hard Rock Cafe

Bearded hipster to another, on blanket in the park: Like, I could have sex eight times in a day and still come here and get a boner.

–McCarren Park, Williamsburg

Overheard by: kalbijim

Girl to guy friend: Did you just get a boner while we're talking about Mexicans and drowning?

–Williamsburg

Posted on March 14, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Death, Erections, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Horny, NYU, One-liners, Passengers, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Vegetarian & Vegan, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg

And Then He Gave Us Candy

Kid #1, bouncing basketball on the sidewalk: Jesus was like: “Go back to earth and suffer… Or your ass is going to hell.”
Kid #2: Yeah…

–Bushwick Ave & Meserole St, East Williamsburg

Posted on July 12, 2017
Boys, Default, Jesus, Kids, Offers and requests, Threats, Williamsburg

…as Long As I Kept the Money Coming

Gentleman #1: Yeah I saw that girl.
Gentleman #2: Yeah I know, she was as happy as a parking meter!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Max

Posted on January 3, 2016
Compare/Contrast, Default, Happiness, Men, Street, Williamsburg, Words

Dude, Polish Jokes Were So 1985

Polish guy: Dude, it smells like a midget's ass over here!
Friend: How do you know what a midget's ass smells like?
Drunk guy: He's Polish! How else would he be able to screw in a lightbulb?

–Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Overheard by: POLA

Posted on December 31, 2015
Ass, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Guys, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness, Williamsburg

Should We Be Discussing This in Public?

Teen chick #1: Yeah, but now they all like “woah!” and shit.
Teen chick #2: They all like “woah!”?
Teen chick #1: Yeah.

–Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Overheard by: dirtystan

Posted on December 7, 2015
Teens, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Words

“And they were wearing old clothes non-ironically!”

Girl #1: This neighborhood has changed so much.
Girl #2: I know, I feel like we live in the ghetto now. There were actually children outside this morning. And they were yelling!

–N. 7th, Williamsburg

Posted on November 25, 2015
Girls, Kids, Stupidity, Williamsburg

Upper Body

One woman in her late 20’s talking to another, in a Williamsburg cafe: “Her upper body‘s okay.”

Posted on September 1, 2015
Beauty, Ladies Who Lunch, Williamsburg

Which, Luckily, is Self-Propelled, as Seen in Ghostbusters 2

Woman, talking about the Italian feast in Williamsburg: And they have games and rides and food. And at the end of the week they get strong men together to carry the statue.
Tourist: The Statue of Liberty?

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: just the driver

Posted on August 27, 2015
Brooklyn, Ethnic Food, Food, Parades & Festitivites, People, Places, Statue of Liberty, Topics, Tourists, Williamsburg, Women

Wednesday Pick-Up-Liners

Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you.

–M116 Bus

Overheard by: I hate the bus

Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty!

–Allen & East Houston

Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free.

–33rd & Broadway

Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all.

–Times Square

Overheard by: yearbookie

Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you.

–South Williamsburg

Overheard by: DanielXY

Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees.

–Central Park

Posted on August 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Beauty, Black People, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Construction Guys, Friends, Gender issues, History & Geography, Hobos, Love, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nice People, Offers and requests, On the Bus, Orgy, Parks, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Relationships, Shopping, Street, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Weirdness, Williamsburg