Woman, after knocking over and resetting a large display: Hey, was it set up like this before?
Man behind cash register, counting cash: Oh, I don’t know, I don’t even work here.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: pete
Woman, after knocking over and resetting a large display: Hey, was it set up like this before?
Man behind cash register, counting cash: Oh, I don’t know, I don’t even work here.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: pete
Large black woman with large black turban: I am a full blooded Navajo Indian, I have the right to be here on this sidewalk!
Cop she’s arguing with: Well, wait a minute. You just said you were going home to Ethiopia. How the hell can you be a Navajo?
–6th Ave b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: Ben Goldman
Woman: So, how is your relationship?
Man: Well, my relationship is kind of like cigarettes for you. It’s not so good for you but you kind of need something to put in your mouth.
–Caravan of Dreams, 6th St b/w 1st Ave & Ave A
Overheard by: Stoop
Woman: I don’t think you’re supposed to eat things that are inflamed.
Man (with wide-eyed horror): It was… inflamed?
–Starbucks, Times Square
(After the recent spate of terrorist attacks the TSA decided to stop allowing liquids past the security gate)
TSA agent: I’m sorry, miss. You can’t bring coffee past the security checkpoint.
Lady in a hurry: It’s okay, it’s tea.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: John M.
Male cashier: “WI”? Which state is “WI”?
Female cashier: West Indies?
Male cashier: Okay. That makes sense.
Female cashier: No, wait, is it Wisconsin? Ha, it’s totally Wisconsin.
Male cashier: Who cares, they’re both really far away. Isn’t Wisconsin on, like, the other side of the world?
Female cashier: No, dummy, Wisconsin is in this country.
Male cashier: Oh. I was never good at geography.
–Met Foods, Prospect Heights
Skinny, attractive 20-something: Yeah, that’s totally my plan: Get completely smashed every night, eat tons of eggs, then barf them all up.
–E. 84th b/w 1st & York
Overheard by: Holds her Liquor (and her eggs)
Woman in bus on cell: George? George, you there? Oh okay, I’m on my way to the shrink’s office so I can only talk for a little while. Oh no, I’m still not feeling better, I was up all night vomiting like crazy and I’m still ridiculously gassy. Good lord, I should go to a doctor because I also have constant diarrhea. Oh George…
–M66 Bus
Overheard by: Stephanie
Drunk guy: It was incredible. He puked and then he just disappeared. I’ve never seen anything like it. He was like the Criss Angel of puking.
–Outside Lombardi’s
Overheard by: Rich
Girl stumbling back from the bathroom: You guys, we have to leave because I threw up all over the floor and someone saw me.
–Horus
NYU undergrad: So we were going to have an intervention for her, but when we went to her room, she wasn’t there. So instead we wrote on her laptop, "I’m a douche, I drink too much and throw up."
–8th & University
Store clerk lady to man leaning on shelf: Sir, you cannot do that… You are gettin’ too comfortable in this store.
–Grocery Store
Sales clerk to woman with a pug wearing a sweater and booties: That is so gangsta!
–Soho
Overheard by: Lara
Apathetic server to customer: Do I look like I am happy at all?
–Starbucks, Manhattan Mall
Young female customer service rep to another: I’m not sayin’…, I’m just sayin’…, you know what I’m sayin’.
–Macy’s Customer Service
Overheard by: Richard Downey
Daffy’s employee to lady trying on shoes: Do they fit? [Before customer can respond.] I don’t even know why I’m askin’ you. You a customer. I don’t even care.
–Daffy’s, Atlantic Terminal in Brooklyn
Overheard by: Crystal Dickinson
Girl on cell: You ate breakfast? You animal!
–2 Train Platform, Wall Street
Overheard by: Gin in Tonic
Angry guy on cell: She’s a chef! Of course she makes bad decisions… like deciding to be a chef!
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Withnail
Buddy Holly glasses guy: Oh, I want food so much more than I want women right now.
–First Saturday, Brooklyn Museum
Suit: I’m going to order some mashed potatoes, with a side order of pussy.
–In front of Macy’s, Herald Square
Overheard by: sometimesdee
Middle-aged jewish lady to other: So she asks me if she can come over for supper and I said I don’t know how to work the stove!
–Avenue J & E 12th Street, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert
Surprised teen: She fondled my pancakes. She’s a pancake fondler!
–34th St
Overheard by: Chloe
Woman #1: I don’t get it. I mean, if you can fuck, you can cook.
Woman #2: Totally.
–SoHo
Overheard by: nooners
