Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck?
–18th & 6th
Overheard by: Dana
Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck?
–18th & 6th
Overheard by: Dana
Hipster on cell: Best case scenario is: I talk, and you say
nothing. We have nothing to talk about.
–65th & 2nd
Overheard by: Gregorio and Robyn
Queer: Instead of cheating, I define it as an indiscretion.
–Posh, W. 51st Street
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Dude on cell: …yeah..you are breaking up…wha? no…I meant your voice is breaking up…nope…wha? no…I don’t want to break up with you…hello…hello…
–West 4th & Macdougal
Dude on cell: So how’s the single life?…Well, that’s good, because if you were pregnant, I’d stick my fist in your twat and pull that thing outta there…I said, I’d stick my fist in your twat. Yeah, I would…Because I’m not really ready to be a dad right now, you know?
–LIRR
Overheard by: maura johnston
Pregnant lady: My tummy hurts, it's either gas or the baby.
Husband: How can you tell the difference?
Pregnant lady: By which exit is used.
–Katz Deli
Overheard by: M. McOrmick
Crazy lady: Can I taste that pizza?
Whole Foods employee: No, you're only allowed one sample, and I already gave you one.
Crazy lady: No, you didn't!
Employee: Yes I did, I can see it in your mouth!
Guy in line: Gross.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Bisexual guy: They say a boner is the body's natural thumbs up.
Transexual guy: Wait a minute.
–Harlem
African man: Does it feel hot here?
African-American woman: I dunno. My boobs ain't sweatin'.
–F Train
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Little girl #1, looking at Neanderthal diorama: I just saw her pupils move!
Little girl #2: I just saw her hair move!
Little girl #3: I just saw her blink!
Little girl #1: I just saw his penis move!
Little girl #2: I just saw her boob move!
Little girl #1: I think those are real people!
Little girl #2: Me, too!
Little girl #3: Me, three!
–Museum Of Natural History
Overheard by: Jennifer
Hobo to one-legged girl walking by: Damn you're sexy, even without that leg!
Bag lady: He wants you to fuck him with your nub.
–Thompkins Square Park
Lady: Wow, that really sucks…
Man: Yeah, you never know how useful all your fingers are until you lose one. And you know what’s so crazy? I used to fantasize about cutting one of my fingers off before this happened.
Lady: Are you serious? Which one?
Man: I couldn’t decide…
–2nd St & Ave C
Overheard by: bestbelieve
Street preacher: You need the blood! The blood of Jesus!
Crazy hobo: You need a good butt fucking! Right in the mouth!
–Union Square
