Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party.
–BBQ, UWS
Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party.
–BBQ, UWS
Woman #1: What the fuck are you pushing me for? You think you own this damn train, get the fuck off of me!
Man: Miss, I was just…
Woman #1: Just fucking what? I don’t need to be feeling your ass up against my hands, nigga!
Woman #2: Honey, just…
Woman #1: Bitch, you just shut up! All you motherfuckers, stop looking this way, this doesn’t involve y’all!
Conductor over PA: Good afternoon, I hope everyone is having an enjoyable ride home…
–Downtown 4 train, pm rush hour
Overheard by: Vinnie
Guy on cell: I eat ass like a champion.
–Havemeyer & S 1st St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: EA
Scary old guy to pretty woman: Oooh, girl, you look so fine. Tell your husband I want to bite your kneecaps off.
–West Village
Lady on cell: Yeah, I’m really hungry, too. I could really eat some nice wallpaper right about now.
–83rd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Debbie
Woman: I’d rather eat homeless person’s cum than ever eat plain yogurt again.
–Clinton & Stanton
Creepy guy: Let me put it this way: I might not be compelled to eat a puppy, but I just might eat a baby. There’s just something unattractive about them.
–Bus to Penn Station
Mother to screaming child: If you don’t stop crying I am going to eat you!
–100th & Broadway
Overheard by: briana
Bouncer to girl showing ID: You’re so beautiful. I wanna put you on a pedestal… and eat your ass.
–West Village
Overheard by: RBNY
Guy: I mean, eating your own cum is one thing, but eating it on a pizza four hours later? I should probably keep my voice down…
–43rd & 8th
Guy to girl: All I know about your baby is that as long as it's in your stomach, it's not gonna be underfed. I wouldn't be surprised if it came out with a chicken wing in its mouth.
–MacDougal & 3rd St
Overheard by: Jaco
Older hipster man, in front of organic section: So these eggs are tortured chicks, and these are non-tortured chicks… Hmmm…
–Fairmay Market, Red Hook
Overheard by: RStein
Black guy: Yo, black guy! Where is the nearest place I can get fried chicken? I want some fried chicken and grape soda!
–Union Square
Random guy on escalator: Fuck anime, I can't wait for that juicy buffalo chicken sandwich.
–Kinokuniya Bookstore
Overheard by: Chris Coll
Boyfriend: Don't do that. Hey, you just sexually abused me!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but you liked it.
–L Train
Overheard by: Kait
Dude: Also, it was kind of fun to walk down the street hitting myself in the neck with a hammer.
Chick: I think that was around the same time as the plastic cube.
Dude: No, I wasn't wearing the plastic box on my head at that point. It would have interfered with the neck hammering.
–Lenny's Bagels, 23rd St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Hungover girl #1: You and Kevin* seemed to be having a good time last night.
Hungover girl #2: Yeah, it was weird, though… I think one of his teeth fell out while we were making out.
Hungover girl #1: … He has a tongue ring, you idiot.
–Columbia campus
Six-year-old daughter, looking at jewelry with her father: Daddy, do you wear jewelry?
Father: No.
Daughter: Mommy wears jewelry.
Father: Well, I'm not mommy. Unless you see a crucifix behind my head.
–Macy's
Dude: Yeah, so I gotta get my intestine.
–96th & Broadway
Overheard by: Already Got One
Man on cell: My left testicle’s on 57th Street, my leg’s on 58th Street, and my nose is falling off!
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: Megan
Lady to friend: She’s a wimp even though she ain’t got no legs.
–43rd & 8th
Overheard by: snayl
Bimbette: Like, I totally starting choking. Something got stuck in my coccyx. It was bad.
–College Walk, Columbia University
Overheard by: DD
Gangsta on cell: I got a strong tongue. Any mood you in, I can fix.
–E Houston & Orchard
Crazy old man, pointing and yelling at little kid: Your skin is on backwards! Don’t be naive!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: tj
